L
Lynkris
Guest
I need your honest opinion, and I don't know who else to ask.
My extended family tonight confronted me and basically told me that I have OCD and need to be treated with Prozac. They have all been on prozac and treat it sort of like a religion, and they also tend to think everyone in my family has OCD. Keep in mind I don't see these people much in my daily life, maybe in passing here and there.
Here were their reasons for thinking I'm OCD:
* I got upset at my grandma for giving a bite of fake sugar jello to my son. This was a case of losing my temper over something small after being under stress from having my mom die and moving cross country. I've seen these family members outright yell at my grandma for other smallish things but they either don't remember those or think that it's okay when they do it. When I do it, it's OCD.
* I care about my son's health and living healthfully. This manifests as: watching what he eats, doing research before leaping into something, wanting to get a flotation device for him in the pool (he's 2). Because of this, I'm OCD. They say no one they know uses safety gates for stairways for an 18 month old, no one is concerned about dressers tipping over, no one they know uses flotation devices at pools, or cares what their kids eat. I'm just being OCD.
* They say I have hundreds of parenting books. Why they think this I don't know. There have been under 20 books total in my home scattered about over the course of 5 months. I just lost my mother last year so yeah I do need parenting advice and I have read a few books...but no more than 10. I actually put most aside as they don't offer much to me. But I've read online and in magazines about making your home safe for young kids. I haven't gone overboard in any way. All I've done is: tried to put a safety gate at the top of the stairs, which I took down because it was too wobbly. What else...I have knob covers for the stove...the one time my son played with the stove knobs I smelled gas fumes so I got the covers. What else...I secure the big bureau-style dressers in our rooms. We live in a 3 story house, so I made sure the windows don't open more than 4" and I got safety latches for those. I also got a 3 story fire ladder which the home didn't have. What else...carbon monoxide detectors, I tested the basement for radon since he plays down there. I tested our well water here because it hadn't been tested in 4 years, and I secure the gate on the patio where my son plays so he doesn't open the gate and wander into the busy street right next to it. Apparently doing these things makes me OCD because I'm worried about my son's safety?
* They say I make lists all the time. I have ONE list on my refrigerator listing various toddler games to play. The only other list they've seen is a list of vehicle options I took with me to a car dealer to ask questions when I bought a car. Somehow they think I make lists every day and am obsessed with them, so I'm OCD. (If they saw this post, they'd say it was OCD - seems like everything I do qualifies as OCD for them, but they gave me SO MANY reasons for why I'm OCD, they fit best in list form. I actually feel self-conscious about making any list whatsoever now, might be OCD!) My cousin actually looked at me with hatred when she chewed me out for showing up at a car dealer with a list of options to see if the car had what I wanted. The look of anger and dislike on her face was chilling.
* I like to keep my son on a schedule of regular nap times and dinner times. They call me the dinner nazi because of this. Every book and parenting advice I've seen says that kids thrive on routine and schedules, but apparently my family thinks otherwise and thinks that because I keep to a schedule, I'm OCD. Keep in mind, my schedule fluctuates as every mom knows, and nap may be at 1pm instead of 12:30, but I try to get him down for a nap every day after lunch. They don't think he even needs naps and I'm being OCD. Apparently none of their kids ever took naps at his age I guess. And we like to eat around 5:30-6pm, but they say this puts a damper on everyone else and I should be more flexible and not care when my son goes to bed. That's all fine and dandy, but I work in the evenings at home starting at 8pm and my son has to be in bed by then at the latest. That would be like them not showing up on time to work. They know I work evenings, yet they still insist I'm being OCD about my schedule. When I ask them if it's okay for them to show up to work late, they change the subject and focus back on me and how it's so odd that I work in the evenings and no one else does that and it's part of my OCD. I asked them what's the alternative? I work nights so I can spend afternoons with my son instead of putting him in daycare for 8 hours every day and it works out for us. If we have to keep to a schedule to do that, then that's what we do. But this makes me OCD? They think I'm too rigid but if they saw my everyday life they would know better. I'm lucky if my son gets to sleep at 8pm, and it's not unusual at all for our schedule to shift by an hour every day. I don't get bent out of shape or experience agitation when it happens at all, but I do try to avoid it if possible. They don't think kids should have any schedule, they should just sleep wherever, go to bed late, etc. The fact that I have us on a schedule is OCD.
* I was scheduled to fly to visit relatives out of town, but when we were on the tarmac the pilot told us we would have to deboard and get on another plane. This would put us behind schedule and I was worried about missing our connecting flight and being stranded all alone in a strange city with a cranky toddler who had missed his afternoon nap. Five minutes prior to the pilot making that announcement, I found a Lyme disease bullseye on my son, so I figured the plane mishap was divine providence and I cancelled the trip and decided to have my son seen by a doctor right away. Turns out that was an excellent decision because treating Lyme disease right away is super important, but my family thinks it was OCD to cancel the trip. They think I cancelled the trip to go to the ER. I didn't even go to the ER, I went to the doctor. And I'd do it over again, because Lyme disease is pretty serious. But they think I should've just gone on with the trip, and got some connecting flight and the fact that I didn't means OCD.
* About the only thing they mentioned that I do see some OCD in is that I do pick the skin around my fingernails and I do pick the dead skin off my heels. This seems to be a family tradition I'm told. Yes, I do it more when I'm anxious. Do I do it all the time, hell no.
* I'm getting ready to buy a house. When I first started looking at houses, I asked my uncle how many he looked at before he made an offer. He said 15. For the past month or so I've been going out to look at homes with a toddler in tow, but apparently they think I'm taking too long - I don't think a single one of them has ever had to look for a house as a single parent with no support - so they say I've looked at hundreds of homes. The actual number is under 20, and I'm making an offer today. Apparently when my uncle looks at 15 homes, it's okay, but when I look at a similar number, it's OCD. Keep in mind, I'm living in my uncle's house paying rent right now but they want to sell their house and have a vested interest in getting me out of here. I'm leaving on my own after only 5 months, but that gives you more insight into why they might say I was taking too long. Originally the plan was for me to stay here a year, then buy a house, so I'm actually getting out much sooner than planned.
* Coming from non-snowy climate, I'm concerned about using propane to heat a home I might buy, so I asked if it's an expensive way to heat, and whether it's a good fuel source for this area. I have zero experience with any heat fuel except natural gas where I come from, and I've heard horror stories about $5000 bills for heat in winter. They think I'm obsessing about it because I asked their opinion about it. They say that's OCD.
* They get on my case for staying up late. They think it's just an inability to go to sleep or a not wanting to go to sleep or something, when in fact it's when I work. They say it's abnormal and no one else does it and it's adversly affecting my life, and it's OCD to do that.
* My mother had OCD and it caused problems in her life, so now they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I have it too because of these things and because I'm her daughter.
* My uncle is a pharmacist and he's one of the people saying I'm OCD. He was actually the first to get diagnosed and treated for it, and then he got his daughter and mother on prozac. Anyway, he says I'm a hypochondriac and that being one is OCD. Why does he think so? Because I have called him (the only doctor in our family) and asked him a few questions over the years about health related matters. I can count on ONE HAND the number of times I have called him wondering about things related to medicines - specifically I thought I gave too much tylenol to my son once and wanted his opinion for example. Because of these few times I've sought his advice, he says I'm a hypochondriac and that IS OCD. They probably all think I'm making up anything that is medically wrong, such as the bullseye Lyme rash on my son (even though his pediatrician confirmed it). Apparently if you show any concern at all for your health or ask any question at all, however infrequent, that gets you labeled OCD.
* I cosleep with my 2 year old, and place the mattress on the floor so he can crawl up there. They think I do it because I don't want him to fall out of bed and I'm worrying too much about that...when in fact the only reason the box spring and mattress are on the floor is so my son can easily climb UP on the bed. But they don't ask why, they just assume that I'm paranoid of him falling off. They say this is OCD. Oh, and they get on my case for even sleeping with him in the first place - no one else does that! - he needs to be in a crib down the hall for chrissakes. Even though my own grandmother and uncle had their kids sleep with them. Hypocrisy anyone?
* When we go to someone's house I'm especially watchful of my son so he won't break something. I don't want to have to pay for something he breaks or cause trouble in someone's home. They say this is OCD. Now, keep in mind, if I DIDN'T keep a watch on him, they'd get on my case for not keeping an eye on him. Lol
* They keep saying things like my life is a mess because of OCD, and I won't admit I have a problem, and they had an intervention to get me to agree to see someone. I told them I'm happy and I don't see any distress caused by what I do, and that I thought OCD was a problem if it seriously disrupted your daily life or job or happiness. I say none of these things is true but then they say look at your marriage situation. Let's see - I was married and divorced 10 years ago...divorced because of my ex's uninterest in having kids and his unknown massive debts. Then I dated a different man for 3 years and we tried to have a baby but we were infertile and then we broke up. My son's father was sort of a deadbeat and didn't want to stay involved in his son's life. Yeah, I chose men poorly, but somehow the fact that I'm not married just confirms to them that I have OCD, because no one wants to date someone with OCD. I don't even feel the lack of a relationship right now, I'm too busy raising a toddler to focus on a man now, and the men I left were for serious reasons (I left them, not the other way around, so clearly them not liking me for my OCD is not accurate). But apparently they think that I can't get a husband because I'm OCD. I'm actually very happy to be a mother finally after being infertile, and I'm enjoying my life, about to buy my first home! I'm finally living where I want to live, and am trying to make a good life for me and my son. I don't feel that I need to change too much drastically because I don't feel there is any severe acute problem or serious malfunction in my life. I support us on one salary with no child support even. I don't have overwhelming fears or constant anxieties, other than normal parental anxieties and worries about your child's safety that I've heard just about EVERY parent mention...except those in my family who were on Prozac. With them, nothing seems to matter or phase them, they just don't seem to care about much of anything. Is every parent OCD? I don't perform compulsive acts like multiple hand washings or checking things multiple times. I don't care about germs or cleanliness, I don't have invasive thoughts. I don't hoard, I don't have to have an orderly home or car, far from it. And although I strive to keep a schedule (and most experts agree kids need consistency and schedules), they say this is OCD.
I do fear making the wrong decision with regards to a house and where to raise my family, but isn't that a tad bit normal for such a huge purchase? It's not keeping me from acting.
They are also trying to label my 2 year old son OCD because he likes to play with doors, open and shut them, and he likes to have things in their place. They half-jokingly label his actions OCD in front of him.
If any of my schedule is interrupted, I roll with I and I don't get agitated, maybe just a little frustrated as anyone would if they are running late. Does that mean I don't want or need schedules? Hell no. Does the fact that I have a schedule make me OCD?
I/we are not obsessively clean. We skip baths, I let him crawl on the floor, we rarely wash hands and often skip toothbrushing even!
They say I am too independent and don't ask for enough help, but when I do (medical questions, opinions about local towns) they think I'm worrying too much, OCD. They got on my case for not relying on them enough to learn the ropes in this area (I'm new here), yet when I do ask about something like propane, I'm being obsessive and worrying and that's a sign of my OCD.
I had two panic attacks in my lifetime, many years ago.
So....what is going on here? I'm perfectly willing to see a psychiatrist and get evaluated, and even take meds if they say I need it. But do these things sound like OCD to you? This is deeply troubling to me - I've been sad and anxious and feel extremely hurt by what they have said about me ever since they confronted me, as now I'm wondering if I have a real problem or if they just don't like me, or they try to get everyone on prozac. They seemed to almost take glee in cutting me down, pointing out all the things I do that are OCD, almost getting mad at me for doing them. It was quite bizarre to be so ganged up on by people in my family who are admittedly OCD. Not to mention that taking prozac while nursing a toddler is a no-no - you'd think my knowledgeable pharmacist uncle would know that and would not encourage me to do something so unsafe!!! I hear zoloft is better, but anyway you get my point. The fact that I'd even be concerned about taking medicines while nursing, they would see that as another manifestation of my worries and hardcore OCD.
So what do you think?
(sorry for being so longwinded)
My extended family tonight confronted me and basically told me that I have OCD and need to be treated with Prozac. They have all been on prozac and treat it sort of like a religion, and they also tend to think everyone in my family has OCD. Keep in mind I don't see these people much in my daily life, maybe in passing here and there.
Here were their reasons for thinking I'm OCD:
* I got upset at my grandma for giving a bite of fake sugar jello to my son. This was a case of losing my temper over something small after being under stress from having my mom die and moving cross country. I've seen these family members outright yell at my grandma for other smallish things but they either don't remember those or think that it's okay when they do it. When I do it, it's OCD.
* I care about my son's health and living healthfully. This manifests as: watching what he eats, doing research before leaping into something, wanting to get a flotation device for him in the pool (he's 2). Because of this, I'm OCD. They say no one they know uses safety gates for stairways for an 18 month old, no one is concerned about dressers tipping over, no one they know uses flotation devices at pools, or cares what their kids eat. I'm just being OCD.
* They say I have hundreds of parenting books. Why they think this I don't know. There have been under 20 books total in my home scattered about over the course of 5 months. I just lost my mother last year so yeah I do need parenting advice and I have read a few books...but no more than 10. I actually put most aside as they don't offer much to me. But I've read online and in magazines about making your home safe for young kids. I haven't gone overboard in any way. All I've done is: tried to put a safety gate at the top of the stairs, which I took down because it was too wobbly. What else...I have knob covers for the stove...the one time my son played with the stove knobs I smelled gas fumes so I got the covers. What else...I secure the big bureau-style dressers in our rooms. We live in a 3 story house, so I made sure the windows don't open more than 4" and I got safety latches for those. I also got a 3 story fire ladder which the home didn't have. What else...carbon monoxide detectors, I tested the basement for radon since he plays down there. I tested our well water here because it hadn't been tested in 4 years, and I secure the gate on the patio where my son plays so he doesn't open the gate and wander into the busy street right next to it. Apparently doing these things makes me OCD because I'm worried about my son's safety?
* They say I make lists all the time. I have ONE list on my refrigerator listing various toddler games to play. The only other list they've seen is a list of vehicle options I took with me to a car dealer to ask questions when I bought a car. Somehow they think I make lists every day and am obsessed with them, so I'm OCD. (If they saw this post, they'd say it was OCD - seems like everything I do qualifies as OCD for them, but they gave me SO MANY reasons for why I'm OCD, they fit best in list form. I actually feel self-conscious about making any list whatsoever now, might be OCD!) My cousin actually looked at me with hatred when she chewed me out for showing up at a car dealer with a list of options to see if the car had what I wanted. The look of anger and dislike on her face was chilling.
* I like to keep my son on a schedule of regular nap times and dinner times. They call me the dinner nazi because of this. Every book and parenting advice I've seen says that kids thrive on routine and schedules, but apparently my family thinks otherwise and thinks that because I keep to a schedule, I'm OCD. Keep in mind, my schedule fluctuates as every mom knows, and nap may be at 1pm instead of 12:30, but I try to get him down for a nap every day after lunch. They don't think he even needs naps and I'm being OCD. Apparently none of their kids ever took naps at his age I guess. And we like to eat around 5:30-6pm, but they say this puts a damper on everyone else and I should be more flexible and not care when my son goes to bed. That's all fine and dandy, but I work in the evenings at home starting at 8pm and my son has to be in bed by then at the latest. That would be like them not showing up on time to work. They know I work evenings, yet they still insist I'm being OCD about my schedule. When I ask them if it's okay for them to show up to work late, they change the subject and focus back on me and how it's so odd that I work in the evenings and no one else does that and it's part of my OCD. I asked them what's the alternative? I work nights so I can spend afternoons with my son instead of putting him in daycare for 8 hours every day and it works out for us. If we have to keep to a schedule to do that, then that's what we do. But this makes me OCD? They think I'm too rigid but if they saw my everyday life they would know better. I'm lucky if my son gets to sleep at 8pm, and it's not unusual at all for our schedule to shift by an hour every day. I don't get bent out of shape or experience agitation when it happens at all, but I do try to avoid it if possible. They don't think kids should have any schedule, they should just sleep wherever, go to bed late, etc. The fact that I have us on a schedule is OCD.
* I was scheduled to fly to visit relatives out of town, but when we were on the tarmac the pilot told us we would have to deboard and get on another plane. This would put us behind schedule and I was worried about missing our connecting flight and being stranded all alone in a strange city with a cranky toddler who had missed his afternoon nap. Five minutes prior to the pilot making that announcement, I found a Lyme disease bullseye on my son, so I figured the plane mishap was divine providence and I cancelled the trip and decided to have my son seen by a doctor right away. Turns out that was an excellent decision because treating Lyme disease right away is super important, but my family thinks it was OCD to cancel the trip. They think I cancelled the trip to go to the ER. I didn't even go to the ER, I went to the doctor. And I'd do it over again, because Lyme disease is pretty serious. But they think I should've just gone on with the trip, and got some connecting flight and the fact that I didn't means OCD.
* About the only thing they mentioned that I do see some OCD in is that I do pick the skin around my fingernails and I do pick the dead skin off my heels. This seems to be a family tradition I'm told. Yes, I do it more when I'm anxious. Do I do it all the time, hell no.
* I'm getting ready to buy a house. When I first started looking at houses, I asked my uncle how many he looked at before he made an offer. He said 15. For the past month or so I've been going out to look at homes with a toddler in tow, but apparently they think I'm taking too long - I don't think a single one of them has ever had to look for a house as a single parent with no support - so they say I've looked at hundreds of homes. The actual number is under 20, and I'm making an offer today. Apparently when my uncle looks at 15 homes, it's okay, but when I look at a similar number, it's OCD. Keep in mind, I'm living in my uncle's house paying rent right now but they want to sell their house and have a vested interest in getting me out of here. I'm leaving on my own after only 5 months, but that gives you more insight into why they might say I was taking too long. Originally the plan was for me to stay here a year, then buy a house, so I'm actually getting out much sooner than planned.
* Coming from non-snowy climate, I'm concerned about using propane to heat a home I might buy, so I asked if it's an expensive way to heat, and whether it's a good fuel source for this area. I have zero experience with any heat fuel except natural gas where I come from, and I've heard horror stories about $5000 bills for heat in winter. They think I'm obsessing about it because I asked their opinion about it. They say that's OCD.
* They get on my case for staying up late. They think it's just an inability to go to sleep or a not wanting to go to sleep or something, when in fact it's when I work. They say it's abnormal and no one else does it and it's adversly affecting my life, and it's OCD to do that.
* My mother had OCD and it caused problems in her life, so now they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I have it too because of these things and because I'm her daughter.
* My uncle is a pharmacist and he's one of the people saying I'm OCD. He was actually the first to get diagnosed and treated for it, and then he got his daughter and mother on prozac. Anyway, he says I'm a hypochondriac and that being one is OCD. Why does he think so? Because I have called him (the only doctor in our family) and asked him a few questions over the years about health related matters. I can count on ONE HAND the number of times I have called him wondering about things related to medicines - specifically I thought I gave too much tylenol to my son once and wanted his opinion for example. Because of these few times I've sought his advice, he says I'm a hypochondriac and that IS OCD. They probably all think I'm making up anything that is medically wrong, such as the bullseye Lyme rash on my son (even though his pediatrician confirmed it). Apparently if you show any concern at all for your health or ask any question at all, however infrequent, that gets you labeled OCD.
* I cosleep with my 2 year old, and place the mattress on the floor so he can crawl up there. They think I do it because I don't want him to fall out of bed and I'm worrying too much about that...when in fact the only reason the box spring and mattress are on the floor is so my son can easily climb UP on the bed. But they don't ask why, they just assume that I'm paranoid of him falling off. They say this is OCD. Oh, and they get on my case for even sleeping with him in the first place - no one else does that! - he needs to be in a crib down the hall for chrissakes. Even though my own grandmother and uncle had their kids sleep with them. Hypocrisy anyone?
* When we go to someone's house I'm especially watchful of my son so he won't break something. I don't want to have to pay for something he breaks or cause trouble in someone's home. They say this is OCD. Now, keep in mind, if I DIDN'T keep a watch on him, they'd get on my case for not keeping an eye on him. Lol
* They keep saying things like my life is a mess because of OCD, and I won't admit I have a problem, and they had an intervention to get me to agree to see someone. I told them I'm happy and I don't see any distress caused by what I do, and that I thought OCD was a problem if it seriously disrupted your daily life or job or happiness. I say none of these things is true but then they say look at your marriage situation. Let's see - I was married and divorced 10 years ago...divorced because of my ex's uninterest in having kids and his unknown massive debts. Then I dated a different man for 3 years and we tried to have a baby but we were infertile and then we broke up. My son's father was sort of a deadbeat and didn't want to stay involved in his son's life. Yeah, I chose men poorly, but somehow the fact that I'm not married just confirms to them that I have OCD, because no one wants to date someone with OCD. I don't even feel the lack of a relationship right now, I'm too busy raising a toddler to focus on a man now, and the men I left were for serious reasons (I left them, not the other way around, so clearly them not liking me for my OCD is not accurate). But apparently they think that I can't get a husband because I'm OCD. I'm actually very happy to be a mother finally after being infertile, and I'm enjoying my life, about to buy my first home! I'm finally living where I want to live, and am trying to make a good life for me and my son. I don't feel that I need to change too much drastically because I don't feel there is any severe acute problem or serious malfunction in my life. I support us on one salary with no child support even. I don't have overwhelming fears or constant anxieties, other than normal parental anxieties and worries about your child's safety that I've heard just about EVERY parent mention...except those in my family who were on Prozac. With them, nothing seems to matter or phase them, they just don't seem to care about much of anything. Is every parent OCD? I don't perform compulsive acts like multiple hand washings or checking things multiple times. I don't care about germs or cleanliness, I don't have invasive thoughts. I don't hoard, I don't have to have an orderly home or car, far from it. And although I strive to keep a schedule (and most experts agree kids need consistency and schedules), they say this is OCD.
I do fear making the wrong decision with regards to a house and where to raise my family, but isn't that a tad bit normal for such a huge purchase? It's not keeping me from acting.
They are also trying to label my 2 year old son OCD because he likes to play with doors, open and shut them, and he likes to have things in their place. They half-jokingly label his actions OCD in front of him.
If any of my schedule is interrupted, I roll with I and I don't get agitated, maybe just a little frustrated as anyone would if they are running late. Does that mean I don't want or need schedules? Hell no. Does the fact that I have a schedule make me OCD?
I/we are not obsessively clean. We skip baths, I let him crawl on the floor, we rarely wash hands and often skip toothbrushing even!
They say I am too independent and don't ask for enough help, but when I do (medical questions, opinions about local towns) they think I'm worrying too much, OCD. They got on my case for not relying on them enough to learn the ropes in this area (I'm new here), yet when I do ask about something like propane, I'm being obsessive and worrying and that's a sign of my OCD.
I had two panic attacks in my lifetime, many years ago.
So....what is going on here? I'm perfectly willing to see a psychiatrist and get evaluated, and even take meds if they say I need it. But do these things sound like OCD to you? This is deeply troubling to me - I've been sad and anxious and feel extremely hurt by what they have said about me ever since they confronted me, as now I'm wondering if I have a real problem or if they just don't like me, or they try to get everyone on prozac. They seemed to almost take glee in cutting me down, pointing out all the things I do that are OCD, almost getting mad at me for doing them. It was quite bizarre to be so ganged up on by people in my family who are admittedly OCD. Not to mention that taking prozac while nursing a toddler is a no-no - you'd think my knowledgeable pharmacist uncle would know that and would not encourage me to do something so unsafe!!! I hear zoloft is better, but anyway you get my point. The fact that I'd even be concerned about taking medicines while nursing, they would see that as another manifestation of my worries and hardcore OCD.
So what do you think?
(sorry for being so longwinded)