6string
Member
So here is my deal. I think I might have expressed my school issues in a previous thread but if not here is a shortened summary for you all.
I am stuck in college doing finance and I really don't want to. However, I have always done things I don't particularly want to do so that I can accept. Furthermore I have always toughed out my anxiety by pure will power, maybe to make my dad not hate me, maybe for myself..whatever. I have come to a point where I cannot go to class without getting physically sick and if I do tough it out then trying to pay attention is a joke..an impossibility. What I wanted to know though is, I have a pretty high stress job. A "real job" I guess no arrogance intended in any way. I have to to deal with customer accounts, meetings and people all day. Somehow I can handle all of this but I can't even hang out with people in public or sit in a classroom chair without losing my mind. Going to a freind's house is an incredible ordeal. My only conclusion is that when I have ACTUAL stress to deal with I am occupied enough to handle it but when I don't have any stress I create a huge amount of hell to deal with. I think I am so used to bad things happening that it is the only place that I am comfortable
I am stuck in college doing finance and I really don't want to. However, I have always done things I don't particularly want to do so that I can accept. Furthermore I have always toughed out my anxiety by pure will power, maybe to make my dad not hate me, maybe for myself..whatever. I have come to a point where I cannot go to class without getting physically sick and if I do tough it out then trying to pay attention is a joke..an impossibility. What I wanted to know though is, I have a pretty high stress job. A "real job" I guess no arrogance intended in any way. I have to to deal with customer accounts, meetings and people all day. Somehow I can handle all of this but I can't even hang out with people in public or sit in a classroom chair without losing my mind. Going to a freind's house is an incredible ordeal. My only conclusion is that when I have ACTUAL stress to deal with I am occupied enough to handle it but when I don't have any stress I create a huge amount of hell to deal with. I think I am so used to bad things happening that it is the only place that I am comfortable