Does shyness mean immaturity?

[lonely_down_under]

I'm 22, male, 6 ft tall.

I'm really a shy person but I noticed that people seem to relate shyness with immaturity. I often get this terminology.. even from people below my age... sweetie, be good boy, kid, babe etc.

Always, once I talk to someone, he/she gets to know me and within some minutes, these condescending words start to come out in every sentence.

What's frustrating is that there are plenty of whackjobs hanging out in this world who don't know shit about life, science, philosophy or politics, NONE... but they seem to be so confident and pretend they know it all. They're able to hold long conversations and stay in control of it. And such losers also easily degrade me and I cannot hit back.

One thing I'm not good at is responding back intellectually real-time.

 

[CK23]

I think being shy doesnt mean you're immature... i even think the words you used 'Babe, good boy, kid' are actually kind of sweet...Shy people may not say much but they may also have gr8 insight on things and may be quite smart as well... You have to see the positive side of it... i myself am very shy but when i start talking i feel like the world's best conversationalist... the other person cant help smiling when i'm done...

 

[rado31]

Shyness defintely stopped me from growing up a way i wanted it to.
It is debilitating totaly.

 

[CK23]

I think the best way to be less shy and more out going is to keep trying to reach out to people... Take baby steps to make sure that you dont drown at the bottom of the pool... Start with the nicest person you know go to them and say hi, how's it going... how's everything turning out... I feel that it's the only way you can have hope... just keep praying that you get better and try your best... there really isnt any other way out of this problem..

 

[Infected_Malignity]

i used to get that shit a lot. people always seemed like they were being extra careful around me, as if they were afraid of hurting my feelings or something. oddly enough though, everything's changed drastically. i'm not really sure why either. i've been feeling a lot more confident and somehow people around me can tell. now i get called out whenever i do something stupid, i have way more responsibilities in the workplace, and now i get to listen to people's gossipy bullshit/problems that i could really care less about.

i don't know how, but people will always be able to tell. maybe it's the 'vibes' you send out!

 

[Kien]

I feel that people who are nice almost always has a more childy view on me than others. :{

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Shyness certainly does not equal immaturity although I can see why you might think like this, as often young children / adults are shy and it's a phase they go through. However, i believe there are many people who are naturally shy and never grow out of their being shy - me for one!!! Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and I feel a shy person can have many endearing qualities such a more sensitive, thoughtful and artistic etc.

 

[Kien]

I doubt there is any male who is not ashamed of being shy.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

I feel that being shy is nothing to be ashamed of at all.

 

[ljwwriter]

I'm not ashamed of being shy. I can't let myself be. Otherwise I'd be ashamed of myself because it's who I am. I'll probably never be Mr. Outgoing.

 

[Ursula]

It's really annoying when people assume that shy people are childlike and innocent- usually we're quite the opposite because we're always on our guard and anxious about the effect we're having on people. Unfortunately most people will be quite quick to make judgements on someone's character based on the flimsiest of evidence. I don't really blame them- it makes life easier after all if you don't have to engage your brain and can just reach for the nearest stereotype.

 

[lonely_down_under]

It's really annoying when people assume that shy people are childlike and innocent- usually we're quite the opposite because we're always on our guard and anxious about the effect we're having on people. Unfortunately most people will be quite quick to make judgements on someone's character based on the flimsiest of evidence. I don't really blame them- it makes life easier after all if you don't have to engage your brain and can just reach for the nearest stereotype.

That's the point. They judge too quickly, but I don't blame most of them. Just some pricks who bully me about shyness.

 

[CK23]

Yea, i totally back Ursula's comment... i like being shy cos it keeps me guarded and keeps me at bay from indecency... I feel it's also made me respect my seniors at work and forced me to be nice to others... all in all it's a blessing in disguise if you look at it...

 

[lonely_down_under]

Yea, i totally back Ursula's comment... i like being shy cos it keeps me guarded and keeps me at bay from indecency... I feel it's also made me respect my seniors at work and forced me to be nice to others... all in all it's a blessing in disguise if you look at it...

But you can respect others without being too shy and timid as well my friend.

Shyness is good... only till 10 minutes or so.

 

[Walk]

Yea, i totally back Ursula's comment... i like being shy cos it keeps me guarded and keeps me at bay from indecency... I feel it's also made me respect my seniors at work and forced me to be nice to others... all in all it's a blessing in disguise if you look at it...

But you can respect others without being too shy and timid as well my friend.

Shyness is good... only till 10 minutes or so.

Very true.

Yeah, like Morrissey's song goes: shyness is nice and shyness can stop you from doing all the things you want to do in life. [close to that anyways]

Is it immature?

I believe that it's a yes and no. I'm really shy yet I have attempted to engage in conversations with random people. I also have managed to speak in front of audiences. It is harder for me than most, but the fact that I am a really shy person and still trying to get out of my comfort zone even a little shows that I'm mature and hopefully on my way to being a competent adult. I do feel I'm on my way.

 

[Helyna]

NO. You are NOT immature because you are shy. If people think that way, they are acting immaturely. Of course, shy people don't develop social skills as well as others, but that's only one aspect of life. Shy people have to struggle more, and in my opinion, struggle is what causes maturity.