I am just wondering if anyone else has felt this way. Often when my OCD is at it's worst, I get really depressed and start to wonder if I am in hell from attempting suicide in the past. One bible phrase pops into my mind: "when hell is full, the dead will walk the earth". This is pretty messed up, I know, but it comes from my upbringing. My parents are fundamentalists Christians and since I was 17 I have been an athiest. I know it seems obsurd, but when I am really down and especially when I see everyone happier than me, and seeming to coast through life without anxiety, this thought enters my mind. I know it isn't true deep down, but sometimes it is hard to believe I am existing this way and living with all this pain.
does OCD ever make you question reality?
- Thread starter frogger
- Start date
dooby-duck
Well-known member
I sometimes think that this life that I am living is a dream and that reality is happening somewhere else. Like the real me is lying unconscious in a hospital bed somewhere.
Sometimes I feel like I died in some tragic accident and I'm actually not alive right now. Then I obsess about past situations where I could have died and I feel really anxious and mad at myself for potentially putting my family through that. I feel really guilty.
One example is when I went white water rafting and I was under the water for a really long time and I came to the surface and gasped for air (thank god for life vests). But then I think, what if I really did die? How could I have been so risky and do that to my family?
What does that mean exactly?