96Neko
New member
My mom always seems to treat my brothers better than me, but maybe it's just my perspective... Let me explain.
My mom buys things for my brothers way more than me. I've had the same laptop for 3 years. Both of my brothers are constantly getting new computers or new, better parts for their computers. My older brother got 2 new computers in the same year, and I mean the entire system--new mouse, new keyboard, everything. The worst part is he usually destroys the old ones on purpose or destroys parts of them so my mom will buy new stuff for him. She never punishes him for it or so much as brings it up to him, but she knows what he's doing so I don't know why.
My younger brother at least gets a new graphics card every year. My mother says it's because his old ones keep breaking, but it's my brother's fault anyways. He's irresponsible and is constantly getting his computer full of viruses or downloads programs that are supposed to make the graphics of his computer better, but it just destroys the graphics card. But still my mother always buys him new ones almost as soon as he asks, and she never brings up to him that he needs to stop doing the things he does because it destroys the parts of his computer.
I've been telling my mom for almost an entire year now that my laptop is starting to get really, really slow. She keeps saying she'll get me a new one, but "at the moment we don't have enough money." Well maybe we would if she'd stop spending it all on my brothers. I've also had a problem with using headphones on my laptop since I got it. Every pair of headphones I've tried on it doesn't work, so as a result everything I listen to is heard by the people around me. It annoys my older brother and he always screams at me because he "doesn't like my autistic music," so I just don't listen to anything on my laptop. I've asked my step dad if he can get it fixed over and over again, and he always says he'll take it to a repair shop later, but he never does. I've been asking him to do this for 3 entire years. But if it was one of my brothers, they would only suffer for a few weeks at most.
My mom also expects more of me than she does of anybody else--if I get anything below a B in any of my classes, she starts asking me why my grades are so low and pushes me to work harder. She doesn't let me use any excuses. But my older brother, who's in HIGH SCHOOL, is failing almost all of his classes. He's admitted to me a few times that he just doesn't want to do the work, but if he tells my mom that it's the teacher's fault or another student's fault she'll believe him. If my little brother gets low grades in a class she might start to push him to work harder, but if he uses his puppy eyes on her she says it's okay and allows his grades to drop until he starts failing. The only time my mother ever let me get away with having low grades was when I had to stay home for almost a week because of a terrible pain in my back, but she expected me to bring them up fast as soon as I was able to go to school again.
She also pins most of the responsibilities on me, including the ones that should belong to my older brother. If my little brother starts failing his classes but he uses his puppy eyes on her, it's instantly my fault. She uses excuses like I need to be more like a big sister and help him with his homework more, I should make sure he understands the stuff he's learning in school since I learned it all last year and I should be able to help him... you get the idea. I'm an online student now, but in 7th grade both of my brothers and I all went to the same middle school. Sometimes my school asked for donations for things like parties and fundraisers. My mother had to work so she couldn't give any of her donations to the school herself, so she always asked me to do it. The problem with that was I always had to interact with people to do that, and I'm so terrified of interacting with people that just the thought made me want to throw up. My mom knew this, and she also knew it would be less difficult for either one of my brothers, especially my older one. But still she always made me do it, because according to her, I'm more responsible.
I've tried to tell her how I feel before, but every time she goes on this rant that I'm just not grateful for what I have and I should be more grateful for what she gives me. She doesn't realize how much she spoils my brothers, and how stern she is on me compared to my brothers. I don't understand why and sometimes I feel like she loves, or at least cares about, my brothers more than me. I really just needed to get my feelings out because she did it again today. I do appreciate what she gives me, but the way she treats me just seems so unfair sometimes compared to my brothers. And I know I sound like an ungrateful brat, because there are people who have it way worse than me, but this is how I honestly feel from what I see. Today, I told her I was having trouble in my algebra class and my grade had dropped to a C. She told me I needed to work in the class more and said she wanted me to work in the class through our week-long break off of school. She then asked my older brother why he has a D in his English class, and he said his last teacher quit so nobody is explaining the material to him. So my mom said, "Okay, it's alright. Just work hard when you get a new teacher."
...Then an hour later I heard my brother admit to a friend on the phone that the work was just boring so he didn't do it.
Sorry for the really long post... I don't have anybody to talk to. Sorry for sounding so ungrateful... I don't sound like this all the time. I'm just really fed up and tired of feeling this way. I know most of the people who read this will hate me but that's okay, I'm used to being hated by everyone lol so sorry for making you waste your time and energy by reading this
My mom buys things for my brothers way more than me. I've had the same laptop for 3 years. Both of my brothers are constantly getting new computers or new, better parts for their computers. My older brother got 2 new computers in the same year, and I mean the entire system--new mouse, new keyboard, everything. The worst part is he usually destroys the old ones on purpose or destroys parts of them so my mom will buy new stuff for him. She never punishes him for it or so much as brings it up to him, but she knows what he's doing so I don't know why.
My younger brother at least gets a new graphics card every year. My mother says it's because his old ones keep breaking, but it's my brother's fault anyways. He's irresponsible and is constantly getting his computer full of viruses or downloads programs that are supposed to make the graphics of his computer better, but it just destroys the graphics card. But still my mother always buys him new ones almost as soon as he asks, and she never brings up to him that he needs to stop doing the things he does because it destroys the parts of his computer.
I've been telling my mom for almost an entire year now that my laptop is starting to get really, really slow. She keeps saying she'll get me a new one, but "at the moment we don't have enough money." Well maybe we would if she'd stop spending it all on my brothers. I've also had a problem with using headphones on my laptop since I got it. Every pair of headphones I've tried on it doesn't work, so as a result everything I listen to is heard by the people around me. It annoys my older brother and he always screams at me because he "doesn't like my autistic music," so I just don't listen to anything on my laptop. I've asked my step dad if he can get it fixed over and over again, and he always says he'll take it to a repair shop later, but he never does. I've been asking him to do this for 3 entire years. But if it was one of my brothers, they would only suffer for a few weeks at most.
My mom also expects more of me than she does of anybody else--if I get anything below a B in any of my classes, she starts asking me why my grades are so low and pushes me to work harder. She doesn't let me use any excuses. But my older brother, who's in HIGH SCHOOL, is failing almost all of his classes. He's admitted to me a few times that he just doesn't want to do the work, but if he tells my mom that it's the teacher's fault or another student's fault she'll believe him. If my little brother gets low grades in a class she might start to push him to work harder, but if he uses his puppy eyes on her she says it's okay and allows his grades to drop until he starts failing. The only time my mother ever let me get away with having low grades was when I had to stay home for almost a week because of a terrible pain in my back, but she expected me to bring them up fast as soon as I was able to go to school again.
She also pins most of the responsibilities on me, including the ones that should belong to my older brother. If my little brother starts failing his classes but he uses his puppy eyes on her, it's instantly my fault. She uses excuses like I need to be more like a big sister and help him with his homework more, I should make sure he understands the stuff he's learning in school since I learned it all last year and I should be able to help him... you get the idea. I'm an online student now, but in 7th grade both of my brothers and I all went to the same middle school. Sometimes my school asked for donations for things like parties and fundraisers. My mother had to work so she couldn't give any of her donations to the school herself, so she always asked me to do it. The problem with that was I always had to interact with people to do that, and I'm so terrified of interacting with people that just the thought made me want to throw up. My mom knew this, and she also knew it would be less difficult for either one of my brothers, especially my older one. But still she always made me do it, because according to her, I'm more responsible.
I've tried to tell her how I feel before, but every time she goes on this rant that I'm just not grateful for what I have and I should be more grateful for what she gives me. She doesn't realize how much she spoils my brothers, and how stern she is on me compared to my brothers. I don't understand why and sometimes I feel like she loves, or at least cares about, my brothers more than me. I really just needed to get my feelings out because she did it again today. I do appreciate what she gives me, but the way she treats me just seems so unfair sometimes compared to my brothers. And I know I sound like an ungrateful brat, because there are people who have it way worse than me, but this is how I honestly feel from what I see. Today, I told her I was having trouble in my algebra class and my grade had dropped to a C. She told me I needed to work in the class more and said she wanted me to work in the class through our week-long break off of school. She then asked my older brother why he has a D in his English class, and he said his last teacher quit so nobody is explaining the material to him. So my mom said, "Okay, it's alright. Just work hard when you get a new teacher."
...Then an hour later I heard my brother admit to a friend on the phone that the work was just boring so he didn't do it.
Sorry for the really long post... I don't have anybody to talk to. Sorry for sounding so ungrateful... I don't sound like this all the time. I'm just really fed up and tired of feeling this way. I know most of the people who read this will hate me but that's okay, I'm used to being hated by everyone lol so sorry for making you waste your time and energy by reading this
