Does my friend value me?

[Ashleigh]

He has been going through a rough time and I've been helping him, but recently he acts like I'm to do things cause I feel sorry for him. He has been just plain out bumming money,food, and rides.He has a driver's license,a working car, and a job. Has he lost his value and respect for me?

 

[Richter Belmont]

There was a time where I was on the other end of that... I was bumming rides and food off a guy for about a month. I'll tell you what I felt like on the other end of it. I honestly hated bumming the rides and food from the guy because it made me feel dependent on somebody else and therefore not in control of my own life. I hated that I needed him to cart me around during that time. When it was all said and over, our relationship was worse off then when it started. To this day I don't understand it, he was trying to lend a hand and I despised him for it. Perhaps this is the animosity your friend is feeling towards you? Then if you didn't help him out he would probably resent that you sat back while he suffered. Just my 2 cents. I hate to say it but it's probably the beginning of the end for you guys. I hope not but every time this situation is presented... it ends soon after. Best of luck to you!

 

[SickJoke]

There was a time where I was on the other end of that... I was bumming rides and food off a guy for about a month. I'll tell you what I felt like on the other end of it. I honestly hated bumming the rides and food from the guy because it made me feel dependent on somebody else and therefore not in control of my own life. I hated that I needed him to cart me around during that time. When it was all said and over, our relationship was worse off then when it started. To this day I don't understand it, he was trying to lend a hand and I despised him for it. Perhaps this is the animosity your friend is feeling towards you? Then if you didn't help him out he would probably resent that you sat back while he suffered. Just my 2 cents. I hate to say it but it's probably the beginning of the end for you guys. I hope not but every time this situation is presented... it ends soon after. Best of luck to you!

That is interesting, I'm intrigued. Do you think you associated your friend with the resentment of not being in control of your life? If you felt this hatred whenever you accepted his help, do you think you could've associated him with that hatred? It's kind of like:

receive help from friend => remember that you're not in control of your life => feel resentment

Our brains like to simplify things, which could result in this:

friend => resentment

edit: It's basically a form of conditioning. Whenever you saw your friend, you felt resentment, so you associated your friend with resentment. Ashleigh this could be the reason why your friend lost respect for you as well.

 

[Doomed2Die]

Prehaps you should remind him the value of such strong friendship if thats the case. In a question, "Do you respect the help I have given?".