Hi,
I would appreciate some advice from those of you with experience of SAD. My boyfriend suffered from depression for a number of years but he seems to be in a much better place for the last few years and has stopped taking the medication prescribed to him as a result. Unfortunately he is left with what he believes is a symptom of the depression. He is a very smart, very friendly, funny guy and when he is out with people he knows, his small group of close friends or family, he is relaxed and funny and nobody would ever know that there is an issue. However, if I suggest to him that he meet or socialise with friends of mine or family members, he gets very anxious and annoyed and refuses to do so. He says that he doesn't see why I need him to come with me when I'm meeting my friends because they're my friends and he has also explained before that he just doesn't like being in people's company, that he prefers to be on his own and that he struggles to push himself into meeting up with his own family and friends so he can't understand why I think he'd want to meet mine. He did accompany me to a wedding abroad once and when he learned that the wedding party and friends were meeting for drinks the night before the wedding, he got really mad at me and insisted that we not join. He just wanted us to stay in the hotel alone and not mix with the others. He couldn't understand why I wanted to see my friends who were getting married. Eventually he agreed to go and when we arrived, he seemed to relax and he got on very well with my friends but it was not without a struggle and afterwards, he told me that he felt some of them were judging him, which I'm sure was not the case. My friends have never said anything negative about him and regularly invite us both to join them on nights out but I always have to make excuses for him as I cannot explain it to them. I have tried to be patient and not push him into anything but we are together a few years now and if I'm honest, I'm finding it hard to deal with his refusal to socialise with my family and friends. I'm not expecting him to do it all the time but occassionally would be nice. I guess the reason for my post is that I'm wondering if this is SAD and if so, what the best course of action is. Apart from this issue, our relationship is great and I know we're both in it for the long term so we need to try to resolve this.
Thank you in advance.
I would appreciate some advice from those of you with experience of SAD. My boyfriend suffered from depression for a number of years but he seems to be in a much better place for the last few years and has stopped taking the medication prescribed to him as a result. Unfortunately he is left with what he believes is a symptom of the depression. He is a very smart, very friendly, funny guy and when he is out with people he knows, his small group of close friends or family, he is relaxed and funny and nobody would ever know that there is an issue. However, if I suggest to him that he meet or socialise with friends of mine or family members, he gets very anxious and annoyed and refuses to do so. He says that he doesn't see why I need him to come with me when I'm meeting my friends because they're my friends and he has also explained before that he just doesn't like being in people's company, that he prefers to be on his own and that he struggles to push himself into meeting up with his own family and friends so he can't understand why I think he'd want to meet mine. He did accompany me to a wedding abroad once and when he learned that the wedding party and friends were meeting for drinks the night before the wedding, he got really mad at me and insisted that we not join. He just wanted us to stay in the hotel alone and not mix with the others. He couldn't understand why I wanted to see my friends who were getting married. Eventually he agreed to go and when we arrived, he seemed to relax and he got on very well with my friends but it was not without a struggle and afterwards, he told me that he felt some of them were judging him, which I'm sure was not the case. My friends have never said anything negative about him and regularly invite us both to join them on nights out but I always have to make excuses for him as I cannot explain it to them. I have tried to be patient and not push him into anything but we are together a few years now and if I'm honest, I'm finding it hard to deal with his refusal to socialise with my family and friends. I'm not expecting him to do it all the time but occassionally would be nice. I guess the reason for my post is that I'm wondering if this is SAD and if so, what the best course of action is. Apart from this issue, our relationship is great and I know we're both in it for the long term so we need to try to resolve this.
Thank you in advance.
