Does being beautiful make social anxiety easier

[of_darkness]

i'm not terrible looking at the moment, and i don't think it really matters at all. at least in a related sense.

of course, if you're upset by your looks and think everone thinks the same thing, you're going to be much less confident, creating a different reason for SA.

it's also not to do with physical state, it's easy for me to make myself look much less confident by altering my posture. By slouching and not walking straight, I don't look 'wrong', but still. I just look like a hopeless shy unconfident person should look like.

but sitting up straight (my mum is a physio it's kinda compulsory to sort out my posture with her around..) I look a whole new person. seriously, it's just incredible how mch posture does that. I can actually like my looks by doing that, it's not an immediate PHYSICAL visible difference but it is a huge mental, visible difference in the sense that you can just see which one is the bettert looking person.

learn to love yourself, then you'll be able to see how others see you...you'll find out they weren't really noticing in the first place, it was just your (lack of) attitude and expression.

 

[Joey86]

I'm a little bit lucky to have another social anxiety sufferer as a close friend. He'd fit the bill for the 'beautiful' tagline. I don't think it makes life any easier. In fact, it might make it harder because you don't have to deal with as many challenges in life. You develop these life skills much more slowly if you get things handed to you on a silver platter.

 

[rado31]

I'm a little bit lucky to have another social anxiety sufferer as a close friend. He'd fit the bill for the 'beautiful' tagline. I don't think it makes life any easier. In fact, it might make it harder because you don't have to deal with as many challenges in life. You develop these life skills much more slowly if you get things handed to you on a silver platter.

Can u explain this detaily?

 

[SocialRetahd]

Yea, that doesn't make sense at all.

People who are unattractive get nothing.

 

[isolatedgirl1990]

No, it's actually the opposite once you look around more. Most the people I know who are beautiful are very shy, while the people who are unattractive or average-looking aren't.

It has to do with confidence i guess. If you don't care what people think about what you say, then it won't bother you, and you'll bounce back.

 

[SocialRetahd]

"wah, I'm so beautiful...life is so hard."

Take a hammer to your mug if it's just an inconvenience.

 

[agonspw]

now that we have resolved that question, I present another one in a similar vein.

"Does being rich make SA easier?"

At one end of the spectrum you have a person w/SA w/ no food, shelter, health insurance and who has to live on a day to day basis.

At the other end, you have a person w/SA w/ a 10,000sq foot mansion, best doctors at his/her service, secure financial future.

Would you be person A or person B?

:roll:

 

[maggie]

what do u reckon?


i think it may as people may be more nice toward you and possibly overlook the anxiousness of a beautiful person

then again good looks draw the eyes and increased attention can increase self consciousness
hmm.....

good question alllie..i've kinda seen it from both sides. When i was younger, maybe around the age of 13, i thought i was the ugliest person ever born. I was super super skinny, kinda looked like a boy, bad acne, needed braces, the whole nine yards. But, i'm pretty sure my social anxiety showed it's effects, right from the age of 5 or 6. The bullying i received at home, then at school, for sure didn't help, but my lack of confidence and self-esteem issues, i think, were there right from the start. By the time i turned 16, something crazy happened. My acne cleared up, i started to look more like a girl, and all of a sudden, i was considered to be attractive..and getting tons of attention from guys. I can tell others find me attractive, but the anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, still remains Although i can see why some may think being attractive makes things easier..sometimes i think people expect more out of me, expect my personality to match my looks, if that makes sense..so being attractive doesn't just magically make everything else fall into place :wink:

 

[phoenix1]

When we are social anxious, we look for things to put the blame on for our suffering. We actively look for things that we think causes us pain. We usually blame our physical flaws and our looks because its so prevelant.

If its not our looks, it simply becomes something else. It becomes our intelligence, our communication skills or maybe it becomes our likeability or charisma. It doesnt mean its any easier. The point is that we are always focusing on something to fix to stop the suffering.

If we all got surgery and we looked perfect, you really think we would all feel better? What would probably happen is that we would simply find something else we dont like about ourselves and focus on that.

Like maggie, I've personally experienced both sides as well. I know what its like to be seen as good looking and also as ugly and flawed. I was actually less confident and more afriad when I was good looking because it was as if I had to match that with perfect communication skills, perfect humor and intelligence and I never could. I thought of myself as ugly or flawed inside instead.

 

[SocialRetahd]

I disagree....


See, if you're ugly, you are too affraid to draw attention to yourself, ever. Therefore, you really don't exist.

 

[of_darkness]

I disagree....


See, if you're ugly, you are too affraid to draw attention to yourself, ever. Therefore, you really don't exist.

Do you really think all good looking people draw attention to themselves? They might do so momentarily, but instantly loose it. Becoming another shadow. You're still ignored just as much. Which sucks. And can be even more socially damaging for every time you're approached, rejected and ignored forever by that person, spreading the word, giving yourself a reputation for being quiet, scared, shy and unsociable. I'd say that's just as hard to cope with than just sitting back trying to imagine all sorts of stupid things people *might* be thinking about you, just becase you think you look bad.

 

[maggie]

"wah, I'm so beautiful...life is so hard."

Take a hammer to your mug if it's just an inconvenience.

i don't think it's that people want to take a hammer to their looks, it's more that having looks doesn't necessarily mean how they feel on the inside..and how they act..fall into place. I think a person's personality, attitude and mental well-being can hold them back much easier than just simply looks.

 

[SocialRetahd]

So don't fucking act like it's a disability.

 

[Tryin]

So don't fucking act like it's a disability.

Hey! Easy, please. Maggie was sharing her thoughts/feelings with us, so what about shoving a little more respect? You have every right to disagree or even feel offended, but you can do that and still stay polite.

 

[SocialRetahd]

Hey! Easy, please. Maggie was sharing her thoughts/feelings with us, so what about shoving a little more respect? You have every right to disagree or even feel offended, but you can do that and still stay polite.

Deal.

If you stop being a condescending bitch.

k? :wink:

 

[Chrysta]

I don't think being attractive will effect your SA much. It depends on the severity of your anxiety. You can be a very attractive person but have anxiety so bad you can't go out of the house.

 

[Nina]

It only makes it easier if YOU actually think that you look nice. If you DO, but don't think so it won't help

 

[sabbath92002]

Being beautiful hasn't really helped me much, but being humble has.

 

[maggie]

Hey! Easy, please. Maggie was sharing her thoughts/feelings with us, so what about shoving a little more respect? You have every right to disagree or even feel offended, but you can do that and still stay polite.

Deal.

If you stop being a condescending bitch.

k? :wink:

hey socialretahd, what gives you the right to call anyone a 'condescending bitch'? everyone on this site has the right to post their thoughts and feelings. Why must you be so judgemental and harsh. Do we not all suffer from many of the same issues? We're here to support eachother and understand eachother, not bash other's opinions or circumstances. And to Tryin, thanks for your thoughts