Does anyone know of guides anyone's put together to overcome extreme social phobia?

[username151]

Because this task seems daunting as ****. I was pseudo schizoid until I did shrooms a few weeks ago and now I actually not only want but need to turn my life around. I'm fairly certain I have avoidant personality disorder..and if I don't, I'm at worst really damn close.

Here's my life:

- I'm twenty. Complete loner in junior high and high school...and college. So I haven't really developed much socially or personally. My social skills suck balls right now because they've just atrophied so much...and my self-consciousness/other AvPD bull**** impair what little social abilities I do have.

- I feel very forced (especially around people who know me) to act very consistently to how I've always acted around them...which is just a really non-expressive, boring, no confidence and awkward person who doesn't talk much.

- I have a weak voice and I mumble. I'm really, really skinny...I am good looking (in the face), but, again, I'm skinny as hell.

- I know little about the world; I've had no interests or hobbies my entire life; I have few cool experiences to share with people.

- My grades so far in college have sucked balls.. and I've only completed three semesters even though I should be completing the second semester of my junior year right now.

- I experienced trauma at eleven, which caused me to shut down my emotions...and I think I'm still utterly out of touch with them...I have off and on problems with depression. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with a very negative and critical dad after the divorce, which has caused me to become a very, very self-critical person.

-------

So that's my basic situation. I will not be able to snap out of it around people I know...my AvPD is just insane around people I know. And it may be just as insane around everyone...I'm really bad with strangers too, but I haven't put too much of an effort in acting better and more friendly and non-awkwardly around strangers... I mean, I try at least a little...but I fail.

--------

How can I build my life back up from scratch? I'm basically a 12 year old in terms of personal development; I struggle with AvPD; I have very little to feel good about myself for (hobbies/interests/knowledge/experiences) or to talk about; I've had no friends and I've had no experiences.

How can I rebuild? Do any of you know of people who've successfully overcome these or similar problems and posted how they did it?

How can a person with no depth to them whatsoever...with AvPD to boot...possibly attract people to be their friends? I need to have friends for awhile to become a person who has any ability whatsoever to make and maintain friends....so how can I possibly get started?

 

[kihira]

Yes, it is possible for you to overcome the issues you are dealing with now, but I think the best way is to get professional help with it all first. I struggled for many unsuccessful years trying the DIY way, it was only when I took on some sessions with a psychologist that it all started coming together for me

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

I would say talk to people. Even thought you might have a fear of rejection, talk to people. It can be online (in forums like these) or in groups for people with social problems. I think some of the best friends people have come from people that are like them in many ways. There is this site called Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup where you can search for groups (like social phobia and depression groups). I would also suggest getting a therapist that you like, because you can just blurt out all of your problems to someone who will listen and will not judge you. The first thing you may need to do is to get rid of people in your life who bring you down (or limit contact). Maybe you should try some new things (in the comfort of your own home to start with) to gain some hobbies. I really don't have any hobbies either, but I've recently found out I like to debate with people and I'm always learning. Maybe you can just read some books and learn topics to talk about. I've known plenty of thin and big people in my life who were amazing people. And they, too, thought they were boring! Maybe you should find people who just enjoy being around someone. I know people who don't really talk when they hang out, they just sit there and watch TV, and we have both enjoyed it. So I hope you find people from a meetup group or something so you can just BE around someone. Remember to start off smaller and not overwhelm yourself.