Orlando
Well-known member
I noticed I have a specific problem with relationships. I worry about offending people. Once I have this worry in my mind, it becomes an obsession, pervading my thoughts until the issue is concluded (usaually, I appologize). Some people would characterize me as thoughtful and consciencious. However, I think that I have taken it to an extreme. It's painful because I worry about everything I say or do when I'm around people. Now, I think how can I relax around people? How can I be genuine? There is a difference in between being nice to people because you care about them and being nice to people because you are frightened of them.
I am the youngest of five children. I am much younger than my others brothers and sisters (they are all around the same age). They were the ones that took care of me when I grew up. My mom was busy working (Nurse) and my father was away at sea (Navy). I remember they imposed rules upon me, "Do the dishes. Clean your bed. etc."....and I would refuse and get into these big fights (yelling and hitting). After a while, I remember giving up. I thought to myself, "What is the point of being angry? They are just going to win anyway. They would all go against me (refuse to talk to me or yell at me as a group) and I would lose (do what they say or just end up hating myself).
I guess that is one of the reasons why I worry about offending people. I feel that if I offend one person then that person will tell everybody and I'll be hated by everyone.
It is kinda interesting that my childhood affects the present, that I'm living in the this world with the mindset that I obtained since I was a child.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do you feel that if you insult one person then you will insult everyone? Do you feel that it gets in your way in having relationships? I keep people at a distance because I don't ever want to offend them. I don't want fear to be the principal emotion in any of my relationships (with family or friends). I want to be closer but I need to take risks.....Does anyone else feel the same way?
I am the youngest of five children. I am much younger than my others brothers and sisters (they are all around the same age). They were the ones that took care of me when I grew up. My mom was busy working (Nurse) and my father was away at sea (Navy). I remember they imposed rules upon me, "Do the dishes. Clean your bed. etc."....and I would refuse and get into these big fights (yelling and hitting). After a while, I remember giving up. I thought to myself, "What is the point of being angry? They are just going to win anyway. They would all go against me (refuse to talk to me or yell at me as a group) and I would lose (do what they say or just end up hating myself).
I guess that is one of the reasons why I worry about offending people. I feel that if I offend one person then that person will tell everybody and I'll be hated by everyone.
It is kinda interesting that my childhood affects the present, that I'm living in the this world with the mindset that I obtained since I was a child.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do you feel that if you insult one person then you will insult everyone? Do you feel that it gets in your way in having relationships? I keep people at a distance because I don't ever want to offend them. I don't want fear to be the principal emotion in any of my relationships (with family or friends). I want to be closer but I need to take risks.....Does anyone else feel the same way?