does any1 feel their nervousness makes others uncomfortable

[alllie]

hi there people!

i find that how other people see me is the main problem of my sa.
i feel that my nervousness makes other people uncomfortable and tense around me. my parents tell me im paranoid but say im on a bus, people do move away from me to sit somewhere else or they cough and look uncomfortable. I keep telling myself that im being silly cos i would feel more comfortable around a nervous person but this doesnt seem to be the case. does anybody else find this, if so have u found ways of overcoming this??.

really appreciate any help

thanks allie XX

 

[maggie]

allie, sometimes at work, when i'm going through a rough spot, others seem to notice...one or two of the girls who work with me more directly seem to watch me more and treat me differently when i am feeling really anxious....it makes it worse for me, cause then i get paranoid that everybody is noticing 8O

 

[shep]

Yes, I have noticed this many time. When I'm at one of those obligatory social gatherings and while the fire storm is going on in my head, I'm trying to appear normal and at ease but when I see that the person I'm talking with is noticing my nervousness, it makes me even more nervous. It's a vicious cycle. I try to have a drink or two which helps me somewhat. I always try to avoid these situations but that has a price as well.

 

[Remus]

Hiya Allie

I find this too, sometimes when I'm bad around freinds I notice them kinda get uncomfortable with it, mind you, its been better since I expained what social phobia was to them.

I always feel like people are staring on buses and stuff like they know I'm a freak or summat

 

[thugaveli]

I was in argos about a week ago and i didnt really want to get served because the girl behind the counter was gorgeous and i knew i would melt.
But i did and i just froze kinda and i think she noticed i were a bit nervy and i looked at her and she seemed to freak out too!! she basicly threw the change at me and mumbled something. ive had it happen quite a lot in shops i think my anxiety must be contagious

 

[alllie]

hi maggie, yes i agree, when im at work i notice there are 2 girls who stare at me and this increases my anxiety- obviously, tho sometimes i think whats their problem yes im anxious but i cant help it, if they had sa theyd behave in a similar way
alison x

 

[alllie]

hello shep, good hear from u, yes when i feel anxiety coming on i often think ok keep calm, at ease etc, but it often does not work. It is cyclic and yes avoidance - not a good plan!! altho it is tempting

 

[alllie]

hi remus
yes know the feeling- i often feel like i stand out, different to others cos of my anxiety- who knows we may actually appear very normal- we cant help it tho if we dont. yes telling people about ure sa makes you feel more comfortable around them doesnt it- at leats they know why we act in the way we do

 

[alllie]

hello thugaveli

yes when u see someone gorgeous its bound to make u nervous, couple this with s anxiety and u got mass nervousness- yes people have done that to me too- throwing the change at me- i just feel like they wouldnt have behaved in such a moody way with another "non-anxious"person.

 

[pitkreet]

nervousness can definitely be infectuous - i've seen it happen all too often in my life where people sense my obvious unease and they end up mimicking my symptoms

this used to really drive me nuts and absolutely compounded my anxiety

however, since i've discovered this forum and know that I have SA, and have been reading some good advice, i feel less anxious about this

there are still times when i feel worried that i'll make other people nervous, but i just try to force the thought out of my mind and tell myself that it's their problem if they get nervous around me, i can only look after my own feelings, not theirs too

 

[newbie-who]

Yes a lot of people stare at me , sometimes I don't notice it and think why do they have to do. Lately though Ive developed an attitude of feeling sorry for them that they have to look and are not able to appreciate and value differeces in people and how thay come across.

This way of thinking helps me and its true really, its a lack or unwillingness to accept differences that makes them do it.