Do you over-analyze things you say?

[Foxglove]

Whenever I force myself to overcome my reluctance to socialize, I always end up analyzing everything I said when I think about it later. Things like "Oh God, I shouldn't have said that!", or "They probably thought I'm a complete idiot", or "Why didn't I say . . . ." With all the agonizing over what I said or what others said to me, it's just not worth it. I think I should just stay the hell home under my rock where I belong. I really wish to "belong" and not to feel like a freak, but somehow being around others just underscores my shortcomings and makes me feel like the most miserable piece of shit on the planet.

 

[mienaino]

I can't imagine having SP and not second guessing everything I say.

Although, in this case, desensitization helps. Try saying too much to keep track of, then you'll probably pick apart the details less and just generalize your self-scrutiny. It's like stabbing yourself with a dull blade, instead of a sharp one (it still gets the job done, but it takes longer).

 

[scatmantom]

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[pauly88]

I do this too. ALL the time. Not only does it suck from a self-esteem perspective, it's also a bloody tiring thing to do.

Unless I'm with people I feel secure around, which I can easily count on one hand, self-analysis makes social situations too tiring to maintain for more than a few hours at a time.

I can also remember details of conversations held months even years ago, in which I think I've made a fool of myself.

And you're right foxglove, it makes you feel that you don't belong in social situations, that you should give up and stop trying, since the outcome is always the same. It's not true, but it feels like it.

 

[Hoosier]

You're not alone.

I too over-analyze, then re-analyze, then analyze it again if I still don't like the way the conversation is going. and then I do one step worse... I bring up the original conversation again with the original person(s) involved and try to persuade them to see things from my (now corrected) point of view.

The more emotional it is, or could become, the more I tend to re-hash it.
and this is the point when I appear to be "pushy".

 

[maggie]

Whenever I force myself to overcome my reluctance to socialize, I always end up analyzing everything I said when I think about it later. Things like "Oh God, I shouldn't have said that!", or "They probably thought I'm a complete idiot", or "Why didn't I say . . . ." With all the agonizing over what I said or what others said to me, it's just not worth it. I think I should just stay the hell home under my rock where I belong. I really wish to "belong" and not to feel like a freak, but somehow being around others just underscores my shortcomings and makes me feel like the most miserable piece of shit on the planet.

yeah, foxglove..i overanalyze everything i've said..everything i do...every note i write..and usually all the words i've typed..checking, double checking..bah!! :evil:

 

[Bake]

YES! EVERYTHING I DO, SAY, ETC...
I ALWAYS OVER ANALYZE. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, I ALWAYS REPLAY IT IN MY HEAD & JUST ALWAYS END UP THINKING NEGATIVE ABOUT IT.

 

[JamesMorgan]

I'm a visual type of thinker......

These thoughts are actually cute little flying fish, with pink eyes and rainbow cloured bodies. They jump in and out of the ocean of our mind, some keep coming back and we feed them, get attached to them, others which are more fleeting and colourful we see very little. They are part of our mind but not really us, we can just let em swim away.....

If we continue to feed the sharks of our negative thoughts, they will continue to swim in the awareness of our mind and frighten us.

This type of evaluating/an-a-lie-zing, how do we we spell it again, is limiting us using our real intelligence, the vast, undiscovered depths of our minds can bypass all this pointless boring attacking our self nonsense.

Its a bit like listening to the same dull radio station playing all those cheesy songs again and again, switch it off, right?? Our mind is like this also, we can tune into another frequency which is far more interesting, far more rewarding, why choose to listen to bad music that brings no enjoyment? I ask myself, why am i listening to these thoughts, why? If they only serve to make me feel a slave and feel horrid, why am i listening to them?

So what thoughts should we listen to in our mind? Can we trust them? Whose thoughts are they anyway if i never chose for them to appear?

he he : - )