Do you lie?
- Thread starter Emma
- Start date
mystic_silence
Member
The only time when I lie is when I lie in bed.
dancingpurplecat
Member
I hate lying and I always feel guilty about doing it but sometimes I feel like I don't have any other options. At school I lied to my parents about having friends. I spent lunch breaks in the library because I didn't have any friends and if one of those super-nice people asked me to join their group I'd pretend I had some really important homework to finish. When my parents asked me about my friends I'd try to avoid the question and if that didn't work I'd lie. I would almost pretend that a person who I talked to once a week was my best friend.
Now that I'm at university I do have one sort-of friend so I don't have to lie as much but now I find myself avoiding her sometimes because I still don't feel comfortable around her after a whole year.
Now that I'm at university I do have one sort-of friend so I don't have to lie as much but now I find myself avoiding her sometimes because I still don't feel comfortable around her after a whole year.
Tryin said:hah.. it's funny.. well ok it's notbut a friend of mine just icqued me and asked what am i doing. of course i was reading posts on spw and of course i told him i was just answering some mails because i didnt want him to know i have SP :roll:
Well - factually, I also hide that I visit some social phobia websites or forums. It would be rather not very commendable thing to tell anybody... :/
spdiegoguy
Member
Very interesting post. I never thought about this, but I do lie alot. Sometimes, when I don't want to go out with friends, due to new people or new environment, I'll make up an excuse why I can't go. I also lie about things like not playing video games when I'm at a buddy's house and my turn comes up. I just say I don't play games, but in reality, it's just a fear of losing or just sucking at it. Basically, I'll lie in order to keep myself out of the spotlight.
Jack-B
Well-known member
I used to lie quite often to avoid certain things or to hide or conceal the truth. I still hide or conceal to some degree but my intention in doing these things has changed. Before it was based largely on fear and what others thought of me, which was a selfish intention, now i try to base my decisions if needing to conceal anything with how it will effect others, a less selfish intention.
You may not want everyone to know about your SA or that you are gay or that you have a sex change or whatever but the truth is we all need to be happy with ourself. No amount of lying will change the fact that life is hard and painful and it hurts. When people ask me how i am, i tell them honestly, 'i feel shit, how are you?'. We dont need to shove it in their faces but if we are open, they can open too and will be thankful that someone else isnt faking it in this world of many faces and illusion.
Its hard to be open and truthful and lay out all our fears and faults on the table for others to see, not that this is necessary but i feel its a more realistic mental attitude to develop. Its like people sense the barriers we put up from lying, hiding etc Personally, i have spent so much wasted time protecting and hiding my insecurities and so on that it detracts from actually being able to accept myself for who i am. Ironically, when i am more honest about things, i stop lying to myself which is the greatest deception of all, bingo.... real healing takes place.
You may not want everyone to know about your SA or that you are gay or that you have a sex change or whatever but the truth is we all need to be happy with ourself. No amount of lying will change the fact that life is hard and painful and it hurts. When people ask me how i am, i tell them honestly, 'i feel shit, how are you?'. We dont need to shove it in their faces but if we are open, they can open too and will be thankful that someone else isnt faking it in this world of many faces and illusion.
Its hard to be open and truthful and lay out all our fears and faults on the table for others to see, not that this is necessary but i feel its a more realistic mental attitude to develop. Its like people sense the barriers we put up from lying, hiding etc Personally, i have spent so much wasted time protecting and hiding my insecurities and so on that it detracts from actually being able to accept myself for who i am. Ironically, when i am more honest about things, i stop lying to myself which is the greatest deception of all, bingo.... real healing takes place.
Need2StopRunning
Member
I've been lying for years. At first I lied about graduating high school because I was embarrassed to tell people I got kicked out in my senior year and didn't get my GED until almost 15 years later (my anxiety stopped me). When I was working for Lowes I was too ashamed to tell people what I did, even my closest friends and family, so I lied and said I was unemployed. One friend I actually avoided for over a year, and it pains me to think I did.
(I plan to appologize to him soon).
There's a group of people I know through an on-line bicycle forum who all think I'm married. We were sitting around a table in a restaurant one day talking about "family stuff". Being married, having kids, homes, cars, etc...... when someone suddenly turned to me and said "You're married, right?? I said "yeah, sure, of course", because I was too embarrassed to say that I was a looser and wasn't stable enough to have a wife and family. Now when we do things together and the subject comes up, I feel like a jackass for lying to these people I'm sharing time with.
Of course I justify it by telling myself that these people aren't "real friends" but just Internet friends, so it's OK..... It's not of course.
I've only told one friend about my anxiety and of course my family knows.
(I plan to appologize to him soon).
There's a group of people I know through an on-line bicycle forum who all think I'm married. We were sitting around a table in a restaurant one day talking about "family stuff". Being married, having kids, homes, cars, etc...... when someone suddenly turned to me and said "You're married, right?? I said "yeah, sure, of course", because I was too embarrassed to say that I was a looser and wasn't stable enough to have a wife and family. Now when we do things together and the subject comes up, I feel like a jackass for lying to these people I'm sharing time with.
Of course I justify it by telling myself that these people aren't "real friends" but just Internet friends, so it's OK..... It's not of course.
I've only told one friend about my anxiety and of course my family knows.