Do we put other people on pedestals?

[Ayla]

I post this crazy poll question to make a point: are other people better than us? or just capable of doing something that we have trouble doing? why do we care what other people think?

or do we? for some of us, is it not that we feel inferior, but that we have a physical reaction to be around other people that is unpleasant, and so we avoid it out of choice or self-preservation?

thoughts?

 

[sutiono]

What a coincidence. I was going to start a topic about what was your root of social phobia. I thought about this last week during a walk to restroom from my statistics class and I jotted down some notes.

We assume that people don't like us, or more correctly, we assured ourselves that people hated us.People don’t want us to be around. They want nothing to do with us. That is why we get defensive. That is why we are afraid of them. We think that they judge our every move and every word and each time we do something wrong they punish us. We are constantly fixing ourselves trying to not offend people. It also has to do with our confidence. When people(strangers)look at us we feel how ugly/unworthy we are and are too ashamed to smile, thinking that they would see us as perverts. We assume that people hate it when we look at them in the eyes. We don’t know what to do because our negative thoughts just take control of our minds automatically without us realizing.

It sounds somewhat confusing..Oh well.

 

[jss]

What a coincidence. I was going to start a topic about what was your root of social phobia. I thought about this last week during a walk to restroom from my statistics class and I jotted down some notes.

We assume that people don't like us, or more correctly, we assured ourselves that people hated us.People don’t want us to be around. They want nothing to do with us. That is why we get defensive. That is why we are afraid of them. We think that they judge our every move and every word and each time we do something wrong they punish us. We are constantly fixing ourselves trying to not offend people. It also has to do with our confidence. When people(strangers)look at us we feel how ugly/unworthy we are and are too ashamed to smile, thinking that they would see us as perverts. We assume that people hate it when we look at them in the eyes. We don’t know what to do because our negative thoughts just take control of our minds automatically without us realizing.

It sounds somewhat confusing..Oh well.

yes you are somewhat right.

I feel with self-esteem rarely that make me think it is not the main reason for my social phobia.

Actually I feel that people may don't like me or I am wasting their time when I talk. that makes me feel it so hard to talk and if I did i found I am trying to talk so quickly that makes me halt in speech and social phobia starts.

I think that is one of the most reasons I have social phobia.

someother main reason is because the feeling that people are judging me which make me find it hard to behave normally

 

[jamez]

I think I do at times other times I don't really give a shit.

 

[My_shrink]

I don't put anyone on a pedestal or feel inferior to them.

I usually feel that people are hostile, that they look down on
people that are not social, that they wont give somone a break
if they know that they are outside "the flock", that if they see
someone they think will not stand up for himself they will
take advantage of it.

And the thing is, for many people these things are actually true.
It is not true that all people are nice, it is true that many people
are assholes.

 

[Ayla]

interesting replies.

I'm really not sure what I would answer to my own question...I feel like, my seperateness from others is real, even deliberate at times. I just don't want to be a sheep.

but at the same time, I'm so used to being alone, that I doubt my ability to fit in with other people. I feel like I'm introverted and selfish...I don't know how to be with other people anymore.

but I don't think that its about them being better. just different, I guess. Still, it feels good to ask this question, because it reminds me not to think they are better, just because they move in groups, and I am usually solo.

 

[Aramoor]

This is exactly my problem. It seems like i put everyone on a pedestal - even if they are totall twats. No matter who they are i dont feel worthy of their attention. I have problems with phones in a similar way, i get scared to call people because i feel like when i phone them i'm intruding on their life, and that they will be pissed at me for disturbing them or whatever.

 

[Kalima]

When I saw this question, I thought about it for a while, then clicked "yes" although it's not completely true for me. In the past, when my SA was really bad and nearly unmanagable, I would think that I was inferior to other people simply because I couldn't detect any SA in them. I thought, "what the hell is wrong with me and why can't I get over this?" But now that I'm older and wiser (although it's a cliche), I have come to better manage my SA. Resultantly, I don't really look at other people like gods and goddesses and look down on myself. When I look around now, I can see that other people really perfect at all; some of them are uncomfortble with being around other people as well. I'll just cut it off there by saying that this helps me maintain my sanity by realizing that life and people really isn't clear-cut. Looking like you have it together doesn't actually mean that you do.

 

[longlivesolitude]

We assume that people don't like us, or more correctly, we assured ourselves that people hated us.People don’t want us to be around. They want nothing to do with us. That is why we get defensive. That is why we are afraid of them. We think that they judge our every move and every word and each time we do something wrong they punish us. We are constantly fixing ourselves trying to not offend people. It also has to do with our confidence. When people(strangers)look at us we feel how ugly/unworthy we are and are too ashamed to smile, thinking that they would see us as perverts. We assume that people hate it when we look at them in the eyes. We don’t know what to do because our negative thoughts just take control of our minds automatically without us realizing.

That's just how I feel.

 

[Septor]

Yea I have a problem putting people up on pedestal.Especially young women and people that are around my own age that are more successful then me.I know I shouldn't do it but it so much habit know it's hard to break.

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

No. I think most people suck. I am jealous of outgoing people, because they never seem to have any problems, but I don't think they're better than me or anyone else with social phobia...actually I think us social phobia people are the best people in the world. :wink:

 

[Ayla]

...actually I think us social phobia people are the best people in the world. :wink:

You rock LittleMiss !

 

[Septor]

...actually I think us social phobia people are the best people in the world. :wink:

You rock LittleMiss !

Agree

 

[sensitive]

We are the best, that is not a thing to doubt about it.