Do some of you over analize your social contacts?

[DeMarco]

Every time I socialize with people I over think the event and go through every single details of what I said and did. My mind switches to automatic and tries to find flaws. Any experiences?

 

[missjesss]

yeah you need to stop yourself from doing that it's a common trait of s.a "dwelling on so called mistakes" for example you are in the shops and your about to be served and your hand starts shaking coz u cant find your correct change so what happens your anxiety kicks in you automatically think ur going to make a fool of urself or you call urself an idiot bcoz ur hand is shaking ... you then get thru the situation and afterwards you over analyze it and put urself down

This is a NO NO you need to not dwell on it and be kind to urself and say oh well who cares if my hand shook or who cares what those ppl thought etc

 

[Bustn Justin]

I do that alot to when I go out. I always fel I said or did the wrong thing and get frustrated since I don't know what I could've done to be better.

 

[hoddesdon]

That is called rumination, and every time you relive something it appears worse. As a result you think your performance was worse than it really was, which makes you expect to perform worse in the future. The result is a vicious circle. Forestalling rumination is an important preliminary step.

 

[bsebring]

I somewhat do that, however it's when I'm having the actual conversation. I over think what I want to say in response to a conversation I'm in.

What I want to say needs to sound perfect before I say it out loud. Then I just spent too much time thinking about what to say. When I do come up with the perfect wording I miss the whole conversation completely considering a new topic arises. It's quite frustrating. I've found if I don't do this everything gets jumbled when I talk and I start to stutter or don't talk loud enough.

^is this considered "rumination"? I've always been curious as to why I do this and if it's common with other people.

 

[Overload]

I somewhat do that, however it's when I'm having the actual conversation. I over think what I want to say in response to a conversation I'm in.

What I want to say needs to sound perfect before I say it out loud. Then I just spent too much time thinking about what to say. When I do come up with the perfect wording I miss the whole conversation completely considering a new topic arises. It's quite frustrating. I've found if I don't do this everything gets jumbled when I talk and I start to stutter or don't talk loud enough.

^is this considered "rumination"? I've always been curious as to why I do this and if it's common with other people.

This may have something to do with introversion.

I tend to think of what I'm going to say before I say it. Sometimes that doesn't happen quickly enough depending on the speed of the conversation.

 

[doubleM]

yeah thats exactly what i do. i cant even have a simple conversation with someone without feeling like i did something awkward. i know its irrational, but my mind centers on it automatically.
sometimes i remember the most awkward moments from the past or just dumb things i did and tense up or do a facepalm kind of thing. then i think its in the past, nobody remembers that, it doesnt matter.

 

[BlueDays]

I have always had a problem with this. Have wasted vast amounts of time going over every answer in a previous conversation to analyze if I said the "right" thing etc.
Sometimes I have to force myself to start an activity that requires my complete concentration, to be able to get my mind out of the never-ending spiral it causes.