Do I need to get away from home?

[aj]

When I go to work in the morning, I see people who I like. And I think how I would like to go out with them, at the weekend, whenever. The other day we went to the pub at lunch time again. It was nice.

But when I come home at the end of the day - and it's nothing to do with my family at all - it's like I switch into another mode. I've been talking over the internet with someone at work about how going to the pub was nice. Yet now I'm hoping they don't ask me out at the weekend or anything, because when I'm at home I don't want to go out. I really don't want to. I presume that's because it's easier not to, and I'm way too used to being in my bubble of calm.

Tomorrow when I go to work I'll genuinely want to go out and do things with them again.

It seems that this has always happened and it's yet another thing that's stopping me having any kind of social life. Every day at 5:25 pm, everything is reset, and I get nowhere.

It's feeling increasingly like home is a 'bad place'. I know it's a massive thing to do, but do I need to get out?

 

[tool1919]

Perhaps getting out of home might be a good idea, could lead to some changes in routine. I had the same thoughts 2 years ago. I'd lived at home all my life and its a lot easier going out when you're already out. And likewise, when i was home for example on a sat i never felt like going out. Was just more comfortable at home. I thought that moving out would change this cos i'm away from my parents and live with a friend and my brother. It has a bit cos i'm sort of 'forced' to do more stuff. But there's still something wrong with me and i don't feel i've changed much. For some reason would still rather stay home by myself in my 'comfort zone' and get anxious going out. Don't know why. I'd like to want to go out but it just doesn't happen. Well, maybe give it a go. You might find things change completely.

 

[Leki]

My home is my comfort zone, its the only place where i feel totally relaxed and don't have to worry about what i say or what i'm doing etc.
This is probably a bit unhealthy though and i'm starting to think that to try and get over some of this stuff i should move out of home.

Occasionally people ask me to go somewhere and its just so much easier to stay home, if i'm ever out at night i just really want to be at home in bed (I know i'm such party girl, why don't people enjoy my company lol!)

I don't know if i could deal with living with other poeople though. I like being alone too much.

 

[quietlyobserving]

I know what you mean, when im at home im just like 'nah i'll just stay home' But i'f im say down the street and happen across someone and they say 'hey lets do somethin' i'll be all like 'yeah thatd be good' but when i get home i zone out, and often when i get home i'll tell them im not coming anymore. I think that its because home IS just too comfortable for us, we should get out as often as we can but unfortunatley, for us, its easier said then done. I'm quite the hermit myself.

 

[aj]

Thanks for the replies, they're interesting to read.

That's exactly it, if I'm out then I'm out, if I'm at home then I don't want to leave.

I can imagine how if you did move out, wherever you move to could become a new bubble that you feel secure in, and you might end up with the same problem again.

I was only thinking about it. Moving out is obviously a massive thing to do and that's not to mention finding money and someone to live with. I also think I'd be dangerously naive but then again I guess everyone starts off that way.

 

[quietlyobserving]

Just a thought, what about moving into a share house? People are always looking for flatmates, or if your worried about the whole 'them having to interveiw you' thing, you could move out and have a flatmate move in with you, that way you get to pick what kind of person lives with you, you get a new friend to hang out with Obviously it would be a huge step, i know i would have trouble doing it.
You could try meeting up with SA people in your area?
Hope you feel better about it soon.

 

[aj]

Thanks quietlyobserving...

It's a big thing to do just to find that it doesn't help much... I don't know, I'll see