Shy-michael
New member
Hey there folks.
Recently my search for answers brought me here. I have been avoiding social come-togethers most of my life. But not in a extreme form, like being at my house 24/7. Not 24/7, but just most. Recently it's only getting more and more. A few months ago I at least attended come-togethers with my friends. Yes, I do have friends. They ask me every weekend to come over. And like I said, untill a few months ago I did this every weekend. But every time gets harder to stay. First of all, I never take the initiative to call or text them to get together. I think it's due to my fear of rejection. Also, I have incredibly hard times hanging out with just ONE other human. At social settings with a couple of friends, I can be talkactive and social at a certain point. But when the conversation is one-to-one, I block. I get nervous and want to get out of the situation as fast as possible. I have this with friends, teachers, co-workers and even my sisters and parents. On the dinner table I can talk to my sister (I have two, 1 older 1 younger), show interest and make jokes. Untill I get alone with her. It's really killing me, such situations. That's on of the fears for inviding friends, when only one is able to come and I have to spend my whole evening with him. And that's near to a hell. Even more painful for me, is when my parents see me with this one friend. To know that they see me being socially awkward, it will make me so shamefull.
It's just a part of my story, I was just curious if this could be APD. Since the anxiety's aren't huge like I see with some other humans here.
Recently my search for answers brought me here. I have been avoiding social come-togethers most of my life. But not in a extreme form, like being at my house 24/7. Not 24/7, but just most. Recently it's only getting more and more. A few months ago I at least attended come-togethers with my friends. Yes, I do have friends. They ask me every weekend to come over. And like I said, untill a few months ago I did this every weekend. But every time gets harder to stay. First of all, I never take the initiative to call or text them to get together. I think it's due to my fear of rejection. Also, I have incredibly hard times hanging out with just ONE other human. At social settings with a couple of friends, I can be talkactive and social at a certain point. But when the conversation is one-to-one, I block. I get nervous and want to get out of the situation as fast as possible. I have this with friends, teachers, co-workers and even my sisters and parents. On the dinner table I can talk to my sister (I have two, 1 older 1 younger), show interest and make jokes. Untill I get alone with her. It's really killing me, such situations. That's on of the fears for inviding friends, when only one is able to come and I have to spend my whole evening with him. And that's near to a hell. Even more painful for me, is when my parents see me with this one friend. To know that they see me being socially awkward, it will make me so shamefull.
It's just a part of my story, I was just curious if this could be APD. Since the anxiety's aren't huge like I see with some other humans here.