I think I have some type(s) of anxiety but I'm not sure what kind exactly, or maybe it's a little bit of each. So I thought I'd explain my situation and see what people think. It might even all be a result of the way I was raised so maybe it isn't anxiety at all, so I have to get some outside opinions.
I was raised very strictly, my dad was overbearing, controlling, and judgemental and is STILL that way. I'm 37 and I feel like I'm a teenager. My dad is a strict Catholic so I was raised to not have sex before marriage. I was raised to not talk back and to obey, so I became shy, timid, a people pleaser, and afraid of confrontations. I don't have an agressive bone in my body. My dad got my job for me so I didn't have to job hunt, and I worked there for 18 years until I was laid off a year ago (It was a factory, mindless, anyone could do it). Needless to say, it's been a battle trying to find a job I want to do/have experience in. I did manage to get a temporary job for 2 months but it involved answering phones and that's something I have a fear of, because I always feel like I don't know what to say or like I won't be able to help the person, so I actually let the phone ring one time and got in trouble for not answering it. I also freaked out majorly when I had to deal with the public, that scares me more than anything because I feel like I won't be able to do it right. I should mention I worked at McDonalds for a little bit before my main job, and I was taken off the register and put back in the grill area because I kept screwing up the orders and I couldn't handle working with customers. Now i'm afraid because there aren't many jobs out there that don't involve having to answer phones or work with customers so that's probably a big reason why I can't find a job now.
I'm not an unattractive girl at all, so I blame my personality for why guys rarely like me. I've only had one boyfriend and he was the kind of guy no other girls wanted. We lasted 2 years because I realized I was only with him because I wanted a boyfriend but I didn't really like him much. So I broke it off and have been single ever since and that was 7 years ago. Guys only like me as a friend because I don't come off as sexy or cool, even though I have a nice body and I'm pretty. My personality also turns them off, I'm sure. I feel like an awkward inexperienced pre-teen whenever I'm around guys.
I dont make friends easily, all my friends I have are because the other person pretty much made it happen. 99% of the time when I meet people, they quickly realize how I am and they don't want much to do with me. It's like they don't take me seriously and think i'm an incompetent, awkward, nervous inexperienced wannabe. I can't fit in anywhere even when I'm doing something I love, because of my personality, it just makes everyone avoid me. I always thought, 'I'm nice, I want to be their friend, why doesn't anyone see that?' Eventually I realized that I just wasn't cool enough. Nobody wants just a nice person that will be friends with anyone. They want someone who is funny, witty, cool, confident, and have no wierd neurotic problems.
I have this problem where I dream about what kind of life I want, but I find too many problems with how to achieve this. I see obstacles everywhere and I blame my dad or my lack of money for why I can't improve my life. I feel like a slave to my circumstances. So I spend 99% of my time on the internet doing nothing important or dreaming of how I want my life to be, researching places I want to live, jobs I'd love to have, but then I just simply can't take the next steps to achieve those things.
I think I have panic attacks but i'm not sure if they really are, because my only symptoms are heart palpitations (mostly skipped beats), clammy hands and feet, and a fear that my heart is going to freak out. Could this be a result of my other problems? When I had health insurance my doctor said my skipped beats were normal. But they are getting worse as I get older (I've had them since I was about 19 or 20), they don't happen during times of stress though, they only happen when I'm just sitting around, and they almost always happen during the 2nd half of the day. My anxiety feels worse at night and it always takes me at least an hour to fall asleep but then I feel fine when I wake up because I'm so tired I don't have the energy to have anxiety.
Since I have no job, I have no health insurance, and I can't go to a doctor and I really don't want to be on meds anyway because I try to eat healthy/organic and I dont believe medications are the answer. Does anyone have any advice for me regarding what type of anxiety I have or if it's just a result of how my dad treats me? And how I can get my life normal without having to take medications?
I was raised very strictly, my dad was overbearing, controlling, and judgemental and is STILL that way. I'm 37 and I feel like I'm a teenager. My dad is a strict Catholic so I was raised to not have sex before marriage. I was raised to not talk back and to obey, so I became shy, timid, a people pleaser, and afraid of confrontations. I don't have an agressive bone in my body. My dad got my job for me so I didn't have to job hunt, and I worked there for 18 years until I was laid off a year ago (It was a factory, mindless, anyone could do it). Needless to say, it's been a battle trying to find a job I want to do/have experience in. I did manage to get a temporary job for 2 months but it involved answering phones and that's something I have a fear of, because I always feel like I don't know what to say or like I won't be able to help the person, so I actually let the phone ring one time and got in trouble for not answering it. I also freaked out majorly when I had to deal with the public, that scares me more than anything because I feel like I won't be able to do it right. I should mention I worked at McDonalds for a little bit before my main job, and I was taken off the register and put back in the grill area because I kept screwing up the orders and I couldn't handle working with customers. Now i'm afraid because there aren't many jobs out there that don't involve having to answer phones or work with customers so that's probably a big reason why I can't find a job now.
I'm not an unattractive girl at all, so I blame my personality for why guys rarely like me. I've only had one boyfriend and he was the kind of guy no other girls wanted. We lasted 2 years because I realized I was only with him because I wanted a boyfriend but I didn't really like him much. So I broke it off and have been single ever since and that was 7 years ago. Guys only like me as a friend because I don't come off as sexy or cool, even though I have a nice body and I'm pretty. My personality also turns them off, I'm sure. I feel like an awkward inexperienced pre-teen whenever I'm around guys.
I dont make friends easily, all my friends I have are because the other person pretty much made it happen. 99% of the time when I meet people, they quickly realize how I am and they don't want much to do with me. It's like they don't take me seriously and think i'm an incompetent, awkward, nervous inexperienced wannabe. I can't fit in anywhere even when I'm doing something I love, because of my personality, it just makes everyone avoid me. I always thought, 'I'm nice, I want to be their friend, why doesn't anyone see that?' Eventually I realized that I just wasn't cool enough. Nobody wants just a nice person that will be friends with anyone. They want someone who is funny, witty, cool, confident, and have no wierd neurotic problems.
I have this problem where I dream about what kind of life I want, but I find too many problems with how to achieve this. I see obstacles everywhere and I blame my dad or my lack of money for why I can't improve my life. I feel like a slave to my circumstances. So I spend 99% of my time on the internet doing nothing important or dreaming of how I want my life to be, researching places I want to live, jobs I'd love to have, but then I just simply can't take the next steps to achieve those things.
I think I have panic attacks but i'm not sure if they really are, because my only symptoms are heart palpitations (mostly skipped beats), clammy hands and feet, and a fear that my heart is going to freak out. Could this be a result of my other problems? When I had health insurance my doctor said my skipped beats were normal. But they are getting worse as I get older (I've had them since I was about 19 or 20), they don't happen during times of stress though, they only happen when I'm just sitting around, and they almost always happen during the 2nd half of the day. My anxiety feels worse at night and it always takes me at least an hour to fall asleep but then I feel fine when I wake up because I'm so tired I don't have the energy to have anxiety.
Since I have no job, I have no health insurance, and I can't go to a doctor and I really don't want to be on meds anyway because I try to eat healthy/organic and I dont believe medications are the answer. Does anyone have any advice for me regarding what type of anxiety I have or if it's just a result of how my dad treats me? And how I can get my life normal without having to take medications?
