Do groups do it for you?

[aj]

So I never get a chance to have a meaningful conversation with someone. What I do get a chance to do occasionally is to join some of the people I work with when they go out for a smoke. Which is all nice for a few seconds until I end up just standing there listening to them talking. And then little groups of twos or so start talking about different things and I'm completely left out, standing there like an idiot. Like today.

Even if I do manage to join in talking, after the ten minutes is up everyone goes back in and nothing changes at all. Is that going to eventually make me friends? If you say it will then I'll try to change my thinking but it doesn't feel like it and it hasn't so far.

Everyone else seems to enjoy it but I get nothing at all from it whether I join in or not.

Like I said before I can join all the clubs I want or go to the pub every day and I'll still come away with nobody being the slightest bit interested in me. I mean I do go to work every day and I did go through school and college :?

 

[of_darkness]

hah me too. I always end up listening!! Nothing ever comes of that, it's as if we expect someone to shift the conversation towards us or something...

I think it's also cause I don't like to look like an idiot and disrupt it causing a massive awkward silence for everyone! Even with just 3 of us. I feel like I'm intruding if I say anything, so I just listen. It gets worse when you can't hear what they're saying in a loud place so you have to sit there blankly, half smiling and twitching nervously.

A big problem!! Can't make friends that way! I lasted through the whole last few years of school like that, and nothing came from it.

 

[hbanana11]

Usually I just stand there with my friends and listen to their conversations. Most of the things they discuss, I dont really care about anyway so I dont go out of my way to contribute to the conversation. If I am feeling adventurous then I will make myself the center of attention and talk about something (which they actually prefer to my silence ). Most of the time they try to include me though...they dont purposely exclude me.

 

[aj]

On Friday when I was on a break at work I saw someone who I know, and he was on his own, so I went over and talked to him. It was only for about five minutes, and probably wasn't that interesting for him, but afterward I felt really great. I at least made some kind of conversation. I've always thought that it would be easier one to one and it was. Shame that hardly ever happens.

 

[_Brittany_]

It depends if i'm comfortable with the people in the group.