cowboyup
Well-known member
What to do ... what to do ...
Well, right before the holidays and my SIL says she and my brother are going to get a divorce. Apparently, when she said to him in October, "it's been 13 years we've been together" to which my brother replied, "it sure seems longer than that"
Of course that set things off. She said that my brother told her that he never has trusted her. Yes, after all these years and children and a house...and he did not say a word. He's afraid she'll turn into her mother...etc. kinda lame, flimsy excuses if you ask me but whatever. None of my business.
anyhow, more to the point...where does this leave me? Yes, I am being selfish because for many years, I have put my life on hold, literally and now something drastic must be done. I mean if I stay and continue to do what I am doing - watching the kids - so how long can I last? I will have the kids more and more, on weekends cuz mommy has a date, in the evening cuz mommy has stay late at work, you name it.
Any advice on how I should approach this? Right now my head is swimming with horrid thoughts of being here til the day I die and I don't want that, I can't and this scares me to death.
I want to sit down and tell them how I feel, etc., and tell them I will give them say, 6 months, and then I am moving out. But is this the best time to say it? Or is this the 'opening' that I was hoping for to talk with them seriously? Is 6 months reasonable, should I give them a year? Should I give them less time?
My plan would be to move to NC with my grandmother and 'restart' my life if that makes sense. Hell, I don't know. Then I'd be taking care of people there...I have no way of getting a job at the moment because all I do is watch kids. It's only going to get worse once the divorce is final. I don't have money nor get paid to just save up any either.
I feel like this could be either the end or the beginning for me. It could go either way.
And I am not being over-dramatic and i know the divorce is going to be so traumatic for the kids, etc. and that is the main focus and I may sound selfish to some people with what I am thinking about, but I must do something otherwise, what is going to happen in the long run.
Well, right before the holidays and my SIL says she and my brother are going to get a divorce. Apparently, when she said to him in October, "it's been 13 years we've been together" to which my brother replied, "it sure seems longer than that"
Of course that set things off. She said that my brother told her that he never has trusted her. Yes, after all these years and children and a house...and he did not say a word. He's afraid she'll turn into her mother...etc. kinda lame, flimsy excuses if you ask me but whatever. None of my business.
anyhow, more to the point...where does this leave me? Yes, I am being selfish because for many years, I have put my life on hold, literally and now something drastic must be done. I mean if I stay and continue to do what I am doing - watching the kids - so how long can I last? I will have the kids more and more, on weekends cuz mommy has a date, in the evening cuz mommy has stay late at work, you name it.
Any advice on how I should approach this? Right now my head is swimming with horrid thoughts of being here til the day I die and I don't want that, I can't and this scares me to death.
I want to sit down and tell them how I feel, etc., and tell them I will give them say, 6 months, and then I am moving out. But is this the best time to say it? Or is this the 'opening' that I was hoping for to talk with them seriously? Is 6 months reasonable, should I give them a year? Should I give them less time?
My plan would be to move to NC with my grandmother and 'restart' my life if that makes sense. Hell, I don't know. Then I'd be taking care of people there...I have no way of getting a job at the moment because all I do is watch kids. It's only going to get worse once the divorce is final. I don't have money nor get paid to just save up any either.
I feel like this could be either the end or the beginning for me. It could go either way.
And I am not being over-dramatic and i know the divorce is going to be so traumatic for the kids, etc. and that is the main focus and I may sound selfish to some people with what I am thinking about, but I must do something otherwise, what is going to happen in the long run.
Here's how it happened (short story):