Desperetly need advice on losing a close friend

Nicechick55

New member
Hi guys, i met this girl at a social group and we became close friends. Shes a depressed girl because shes not happy with her appearance and she cuts. I was always there for her when she was depressed and would pick her up in my car. I told her something very personal that i sleep with men for money and i did not want anyone knowing so i told her to keep it a secret and she promised me she would. Her ex boyfriend suddenly hit me up on facebook and started flirting with me which i did not like and i was seconds away from blocking him but i didnt want to seem rude. I told my friend that he sent me a nude photo of him and she was upset and told me not to encourage it. Stupidly at the time i did because i was vunerable because of my upbringing and how i was abandoned by people at school and i also wanted to hurt my ex boyfriend because he cheated on me. So me and my friends ex boyfriend exchanged nude photos and sent eachother kisses and we met up a couple of times but just hung out as friends. After a while her ex boyfriend told me my friend actually told him what i did for a job! I was shocked because she was really big on trust and hates back stabbers and liars. It hurt me a lot because i didnt want anyone knowing! Aparently she told her ex boyfriend because he looked at my facebook profile and said i looked pretty so she told him what i did for a job so he doesnt come near me. I was furious with her and sent her 3 messages asking her why she did it and i got no response. I ended up sleeping with her ex boyfriend and at the time she called up her ex boyfriend and said that we both had sex which annoyed me. I didnt hear back from her for a few months so i deleted her on facebook. The strange thing is she never deleted me or blocked me. Her ex boyfriend told me he was over her anyway when he started chatting to me because all she did was nag to stay at his place for days and nag him for sex and abuse him. She used to be very kind hearted and then she suddenly turned selfish. Everytime i asked to see her sometimes she would just make up excuses or say maybe and she would stay at random guys places for weeks who have been to jail and take drugs and have sex with them. She was also very jealous of me and jealous of me and my exes relationship. I then blocked her ex boyfriend on facebook and he called my home phone up and called me a ***** and told my dad what i did for a job. That really hit a nerve for me so i went to the jetty at the beach with my ex boyfriend without thinking and did graffiti about her ex boyfriend on it. I wanted to get revenge for what he done to me as i had no idea how to. I was also outraged at my friend for putting me in that situation so i went to her home with my ex boyfriend and did graffiti all over her drive way and home. I regret doing it and im probably never going to stop blaming myself for all of it but i was hurt so much. I didn't think of the consequences and i suddenly missed her. I got my ex boyfriend to try and contact her and she said she wants him to tell her who did the graffiti all over her home and that she knows he knows who did it. He denied that he knew anything but she didnt believe it and said that she doesnt want to be friends at the moment as she doesnt trust anyone and she wants to know who did the graffiti first. Obviously her stupid ex boyfriend told her we did graffiti on the jetty and she probably thinks it was me. Im so upset and blaming myself for everything when shes to blame too. I hate that i lost her because i really enjoyed her company. I felt so relaxed around her and i could be myself. She felt like a sister to me and i thought we could be friends for life. I have social anxiety so its very hard for me to find a connection with someone and i finally found it with her because shes an introvert like me. I felt that she would never judge me if i didnt talk lots and i could say whatever was on my mind and it never felt awkward with her. What do you guys think of the situation? Is she really a true friend? Is there any way possible to get her back and convince her i did not do the graffiti and why didnt she respond to my messages? Her ex boyfriend could have also shown her all of our conversation which im afraid off because of the nudes and meeting up and how i called her a bitch and had sex with him etc..And please don't attack me ive been through so much and ill really appreciate some serious help as no one has been able to give me helpful advice. Thankyou.
 
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