recluse
Well-known member
My depression is getting worse as winter is coming. I already have more difficulty getting out of bed because it's dark all the time. The thing that's mainly making me depressed is my loneliness, and there's no point in advicing me to ''Join a club'' o'r ''go to church'' because my loneliness is chronic and no amount of attempting to be social helps. The way i feel as a person is that i am numb....I have no personality, i go through the days like a robot. I feel i have no charisma. I'm insanely jealous of guys who have no trouble in having a crowd of people around them, because they have the art of entertaining, they have a magnetic personality which makes people happy, whilst i'm this boring, half alive being who no one takes an interest in. I can only describe myself as ''existing'' and not living life. I feel that living the rest of my pointless life like this is nothing but pain. If i didn't have my mum, dad and sister i wouldn't hesitate in ending my life right now because i feel nothing but emptiness. They are the only reason for me to live.
