Declining social gatherings

[Man on the Moon]

I have a rather unpleasant streak of turning down social invitations. Sometimes I regret declining, but other times I question why I decline the invitation. I begin to think, "Am I really missing something by not going?" Or I ask myself, "Is that how people should live? By going out and socializing?" I don't know how to answer the latter question. Which worries me because I fear that I will be asking myself this question all my life.

To be perfectly honest, I don't mind solitude. Books and movies are all I need for the weekend. Of course, I'm no hermit. I do need to see friends. I do need to talk to people. It's just that I don't really have the need to "go out" on Friday or Saturday. I will admit though, I do feel like something is missing when I am alone with my thoughts. But, until I can better understand myself, I will put on another movie: Jules and Jim.

 

[IGotSeoul]

If you feel like you're declining the invitations because they do not interest you (i.e. not into movies, large social gatherings, parties, clubs, the people), then you're fine imo.

If you are interested in the activity, but feel like you're declining the invitations because of anxiety related things (i.e. depressed, fear, apprehension, worry), then it's something you may want to further look into.

It's important separate fear from disinterest, to see what's factoring into what; as it's equally important not to dismiss yourself as abnormal because you do not enjoy certain things that others may find pleasure in.

For example, I don't like clubs at all. The atmosphere and activity simply doesn't interest me. It's draining and pointless from my perspective. But they also scare the hell out of me. So I can somewhat conclude that, while I'm not abnormal for not wanting to engage in that type of activity, there's a certain degree of fear factored in. I can also conclude that if I did not have anxiety I would still not go to clubs.

Another example is that I do not go out during the 4th of July (which was brought up in another thread). I do not fear this scenario at all, and can safely say that watching fireworks and being around loud things/people is not interesting to me. I'd rather stay home and do other things, celebrating it the way that I want to. I do not dismiss myself as abnormal because of this and the fact that I do not fear it further validates my feelings.