Dealing with SA in a marriage when hubby doesn't understand

[mumofgirls]

Hi,

I was hoping i could hear from people who have SA and are married. How do you make it work? My husband is a typical 'Aussie guy' and had never even heard of the word anxiety until he met me. We have had our ups and downs for years and as much as he says he understands, he doesn't bc he still gets angry and expects me to behave as 'normal'. And the worst part is he takes everything i do (or don't do) personally.

Help? He refuses to go to marriage counselling bc he says why waste all that money on someone to just tell me i need to pull my socks up.

 

[mads]

I have to ask you. Why are you married to a person who does not understand you alt all.

For me he seems like he does not respect you at all.

Sorry::

 

[mrb]

that must be hard being with someone who doesnt understand sa :: iv said it b4 on here the only people who really understand sa is those that have it .. it really isnt as simple as just pulling your socks up and being social is it .. you have to make him understand that good luck

 

[jbeenthere]

Yeah I'm married to someone who doesn't understand. unfortunately that is due to my lack of belief that I could ever find the relationship I really hoped for and the SA fear of being judged harshly kept me from breaking up. then we got pregnant (immaculate conception). I do what I can to work on and better understand myself and be a good dad to our kids.

 

[Brokenx]

mumofgirls i think you need to ask him to learn about SA to understand you, because it's not fair on you carrying on with him if he doesn't understand what you have to go through.

 

[illuminationSP]

mumofgirls i think you need to ask him to learn about SA to understand you, because it's not fair on you carrying on with him if he doesn't understand what you have to go through.

I agree. He doesn't even sound as if he's interested in knowing what you go through on a daily basis. In love and in marriage, this has to take place. If anything, it's unfair to YOU.

We understand, for what it's worth.

 

[KiaraBlue]

Hi,

I was hoping i could hear from people who have SA and are married. How do you make it work? My husband is a typical 'Aussie guy' and had never even heard of the word anxiety until he met me. We have had our ups and downs for years and as much as he says he understands, he doesn't bc he still gets angry and expects me to behave as 'normal'. And the worst part is he takes everything i do (or don't do) personally.

Help? He refuses to go to marriage counselling bc he says why waste all that money on someone to just tell me i need to pull my socks up.

What can I say..as a girl which 2 relationship broke up because of SA I can only say that from my experience some people are very hard to understand SA. Like they think of SA as something bad and shameful..and that you are weak if having something like that. My question would also be..why did you get married if you knew that he doesn't understand you?
If you care for your husband and marriage be persistant and maybe he will eventually understand and make it easier things for u..If he trully loves you then he must understand or at least try-(because I think that only people with SA understands us completely)..what's the point of marriage anyway..for beter or for worse as I can rememeber..
Wish you luck..

 

[mumofgirls]

Thanks for all your responses. We have been married for 10 years and have two kids. Things were pretty good until i had kids. I love my girls but with the whole hormonal thing happening and being at home sleep deprived, it was my downfall. They are 6 and 9 years old now but i never got back to being the person i was. It's draining to have to deal with so many 'little daily stresses', but it's nice to know i'm not alone. Thanks guys

 

[recluse]

I just hope the girl i hopefully eventually meet will understand my problem.

 

[socialreject]

It took a long time for my husband to accept my sa, He use to try to invite people over,without telling me, thankfully he seen how stressed that made me and stopped. I tell him all the time he can visit with anyone he wants but don't expect me to go with him. I don't think he is completely thrilled with our relationship but he puts up with it.