Dating...spending that much time with someone?!

[Iseesky]

I feel like I could never have a boyfriend. I feel like I would be obligated to spend so much time with him and feel guilty if I don't. I really don't like having people in my space. It's rare when I invite friends over to my house, and inviting a boyfriend over just seems that much more stressful! I have anxiety about having anxiety about having a boyfriend. If that makes sense. :?

 

[silentbutdeadly]

Well it depends. Not all relationships depend on spending a lot of time with someone. You might find a guy out there who's willing to give you a lot of space. There are probably guys out there who have the same worries about this that you do. Wouldn't it make sense to hook up with one of those guys? 8)

 

[recluse]

I feel the same way. I think that i have spent so much time alone i will not be able to get out of the habit. Relationships demand time and dedication. I think that if i was in a relationship the girl would get fed-up of me because i have low self esteem and i would probably not spend much time with her.

The same goes with friends really. I need my own space and i could not stand having people calling on me every day. When i was in primary school i had friends who would call at the house for me, and we used to go and make dens and things like that, but i was never the one who initiated friendships, because i guess i don't feel worthy of friendships. Things changed as i got older and into secondary school, my friends made new friends and i was forgotten about.

 

[Darkened]

I feel like I could never have a boyfriend. I feel like I would be obligated to spend so much time with him and feel guilty if I don't. I really don't like having people in my space. It's rare when I invite friends over to my house, and inviting a boyfriend over just seems that much more stressful! I have anxiety about having anxiety about having a boyfriend. If that makes sense. :?

We SP men, feel the same, and I think with us can be even worse when trying to date a "normal" girl. I listened some conversations this weekend and one (female) was complaining that her boyfriend never have vacations, because she desperately wants to go more out with him and go to places with him.
So, I guess it could be very hard for us to deal with this situation. She really likes to do a lot of things, to go out and so on... and I suppose the majority of the girls it's like this. I don't think she ever would date a SP guy.


So, there is only two options and none is certain:

1- Meet a "normal" male/female who really like us like we are. But finding one could implicate a "hard search = meeting lots of people" (not vey compatible with social anxiety)

2- Trying to date another SP male/female. But maybe this isn't easy too, because both like their spaces, both don't go out much... It can give a certain feeling of "too far to build a solid connection".


So, I guess it may envolve a lot of luck and/or a lot of effort.