Chess
Well-known member
The situation:
I'm in college, a time when in addition to not flunking many people are looking to go to parties and have sex. I want to settle into a long-term relationship.
The problems:
Because I grew up in a household with physical and mild sexual abuse, I'm shy about intimacy and especially sexual advances being made towards me. This plus a few negative experiences since has given me a fear of being pressured for sex and of men's intentions, but I've managed to have a few functional relationships that were generally reasonably happy while they lasted.
Whenever I go on forums about dating and sex, I see posts about how to trick women into bed, dumping them if they don't put out within x number of dates, just pass on "damaged goods," etc, that reinforce my fear. I don't know how many or which of the men I see in my daily life think like this when they have anonymity.
The question:
How do I sort out the wrong people from the right people while meeting potential dates on campus?
I'm in college, a time when in addition to not flunking many people are looking to go to parties and have sex. I want to settle into a long-term relationship.
The problems:
Because I grew up in a household with physical and mild sexual abuse, I'm shy about intimacy and especially sexual advances being made towards me. This plus a few negative experiences since has given me a fear of being pressured for sex and of men's intentions, but I've managed to have a few functional relationships that were generally reasonably happy while they lasted.
Whenever I go on forums about dating and sex, I see posts about how to trick women into bed, dumping them if they don't put out within x number of dates, just pass on "damaged goods," etc, that reinforce my fear. I don't know how many or which of the men I see in my daily life think like this when they have anonymity.
The question:
How do I sort out the wrong people from the right people while meeting potential dates on campus?
