counting down teh days

[Falling]

so 5 days more i will start collage

i can't erase the memories of last year, i have a big hedeache right now thinking of what can be repeated this year. i'm feeling anxious and cold butterflies in my stomach, i dont even want to eat... i'm so afraid!

tough this time there will be 2 people that i know and thats a 2% relief... but still i'm afraid. though this time i believe that i changed and i think now i can make some friends... but sill there is something hurting deep inside.

part of me is happy that i will go to collage, have a chance to meet new people... the same things i was happy last year.

i dont know how to block the memories of last year :x

 

[marki]

I understand exactly how you feel,

i also just started college a month and a halve ago, i felt just like you, i couldnt eat and i felt nausea all the time. But now im already going to college for a month and a halve and right now i just can't understand why i was so afraid, everything seems to go fine (in the social way).
People in college are much more adult then people in high school, in my experiense (i dont know if yo come from high school)but im sure that things are going much better for you in college than in high school, the people are just much more relaxed and easy going.

 

[Falling]

so last year was so much fun your worried it wont happen again eh. yea i know the feeling, i think we can all relate to having too much fun in life.........what?

fun??? what fun?? it was a hell!!

 

[Falling]

I understand exactly how you feel,

i also just started college a month and a halve ago, i felt just like you, i couldnt eat and i felt nausea all the time. But now im already going to college for a month and a halve and right now i just can't understand why i was so afraid, everything seems to go fine (in the social way).
People in college are much more adult then people in high school, in my experiense (i dont know if yo come from high school)but im sure that things are going much better for you in college than in high school, the people are just much more relaxed and easy going.

no my high school time was great, there arent words to describe it. last year i started collage... and this year i will begin another cousre in the same collage.

i'm happy for you that you are going well

 

[magda74]

I hear ya. It's good that you feel you've learned some things and have grown, if you feel like you are better prepared to make friends, than you most likely will. It helps to know a couple people to slowly introduce you to others. All the best.

 

[Falling]

I hear ya. It's good that you feel you've learned some things and have grown, if you feel like you are better prepared to make friends, than you most likely will. It helps to know a couple people to slowly introduce you to others. All the best.

but i wont if i wont stop the negative thoughts inside my head,

any one knows how to "block"them?

 

[magda74]

Sorry no I don't, but I can cheer you on from the sidelines.

 

[Falling]

...12 hours to start!

well i dont think i have that BIG problem thinking about that i know a person in collage. she is my ex-girl friend and now we are normal friends, there is a guy that comes from the village i live in, altough we finished 15 minutes starting at each other cuz we were alone yesterday... i think that we might chat a bit considering that him and my ex are friends.. so i'm hoping that we will be a trio... but like every hope, it wont come!


i really hope and pray that i will make friends in class. tough will be a bit hard... but still i ahev to try. also i will go to a dramna course in collage so maybe it will hep a bit.

and the most thing i'm losting my mind on is a person i know that will be there in the same school with me. last year my wish was to be his friend... i admired the way he talks is so relax and talks with everyone. i admired that he had many many friends... but this admiration leaded me to a low self esteem! i was comapring my life with his...

he was so attractive... i wasnt
he had many modern clothes... i hadnt that much
he had many friends... i had none
sundays i suppose that he used to hang out... i made all sundays at home
he was good in sports... and i didnt even had an interest in something
he lives in a city... i live in a village that isnt developed that well

he had everything i wanted! when i realised those things i started to get really jelause of him. and i felt soooo sad that we hadnt a friendship. the most thing that it hurts is passing beside him and we dont say a "hi!"

maybe he was the cause of my low self esteem? oh my god! i dont even wanna think that this story can happen again! maybe if we will be friends this year i will save my self esteem... but propably we wont!

 

[Falling]

...12 hours to start!

well i dont think i have that BIG problem thinking about that i know a person in collage. she is my ex-girl friend and now we are normal friends, there is a guy that comes from the village i live in, altough we finished 15 minutes starting at each other cuz we were alone yesterday... i think that we might chat a bit considering that him and my ex are friends.. so i'm hoping that we will be a trio... but like every hope, it wont come!


i really hope and pray that i will make friends in class. tough will be a bit hard... but still i ahev to try. also i will go to a dramna course in collage so maybe it will hep a bit.

and the most thing i'm losting my mind on is a person i know that will be there in the same school with me. last year my wish was to be his friend... i admired the way he talks is so relax and talks with everyone. i admired that he had many many friends... but this admiration leaded me to a low self esteem! i was comapring my life with his...

he was so attractive... i wasnt
he had many modern clothes... i hadnt that much
he had many friends... i had none
sundays i suppose that he used to hang out... i made all sundays at home
he was good in sports... and i didnt even had an interest in something
he lives in a city... i live in a village that isnt developed that well

he had everything i wanted! when i realised those things i started to get really jelause of him. and i felt soooo sad that we hadnt a friendship. the most thing that it hurts is passing beside him and we dont say a "hi!"

maybe he was the cause of my low self esteem? oh my god! i dont even wanna think that this story can happen again! maybe if we will be friends this year i will save my self esteem... but propably we wont!