LeeAnne
Active member
My boyfriend has a mild form of OCD- where he likes order, and it causes him some anxiety, but it's more like he can't leave dirty dishes in the sink and fears contamination.
I on the other hand will repeat things over and over again in my head. For instance, here is one unpleasant thought.
This may be disturbing.
I was abused as a child. One unpleasant memory involves blacking out while being beaten in my bed. It was years ago. I wet my bed when it happened.
I will feel stuck in that memory. I will repeat it in my head because my memory is not good so that creates anxiety. I remember ruminating for about a day, wondering about what if he ever got charged for that, would my mother be charged too? I couldn't handle a court case.
But I ruminate. I just feel stuck, like the court case is happening. I feel very sad, and consumed by the memory.
It's happened before with another memory with a boyfriend who tried to be abusive with me.
He did grab me. I did get away. You would think I would forget, but I could not. I started not being able to sleep and would be stuck on what he did, met by intrusive thoughts of what he tried. I started showering three times a day. I stopped going out. I stopped socializing.
I guess it's PTSD. But something tells me I should be able to get on with life and not ruminate. It just spins around in my head. Sometimes the feelings aren't real. The court case with my parents never happened, but it's like it is happening.
I on the other hand will repeat things over and over again in my head. For instance, here is one unpleasant thought.
This may be disturbing.
I was abused as a child. One unpleasant memory involves blacking out while being beaten in my bed. It was years ago. I wet my bed when it happened.
I will feel stuck in that memory. I will repeat it in my head because my memory is not good so that creates anxiety. I remember ruminating for about a day, wondering about what if he ever got charged for that, would my mother be charged too? I couldn't handle a court case.
But I ruminate. I just feel stuck, like the court case is happening. I feel very sad, and consumed by the memory.
It's happened before with another memory with a boyfriend who tried to be abusive with me.
He did grab me. I did get away. You would think I would forget, but I could not. I started not being able to sleep and would be stuck on what he did, met by intrusive thoughts of what he tried. I started showering three times a day. I stopped going out. I stopped socializing.
I guess it's PTSD. But something tells me I should be able to get on with life and not ruminate. It just spins around in my head. Sometimes the feelings aren't real. The court case with my parents never happened, but it's like it is happening.
