Coping on campus.

[Lan]

The first semester of an undergraduate degree that I am enroled in commenced this week, and already I have missed two classes, withdrawn from various units, switched courses and generally succeeded in getting in my own way. The last class I attended concluded prematurely for me; I ran out twenty minutes early in a panic! It's sadly pathetic.

My anxiety levels have been so low for the last year because I have made practically no social contact with anyone, but now that I am attempting to go to classes and exist in society I am finding the symptoms severe. I have no idea how to relate to people my own age (older people seem to be easier to relate to because I feel like they expect less of me; they're not looking to be my friend and they won't perhaps notice or care that I am dreadfully "unhip") and being in a room full of them turns me into an embarrassing wreck; facial twitches, jerking neck, shaking...

Has anybody here ever been in this kind of situation and managed to cope with it? Can anybody offer any advice or past experiences? I'm sorry for carrying on so dramatically!

Thank you for reading this far.

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

Yeah this is the way it was for me my first two semester in college. I was okay with the huge classes in lecture hall because I always sat near the back on the aisle seat so I could leave if I wanted to, but I got really anxious to the point of dropping classes when group work and participation were really enforced. I don't know how bad things are for you, but what I did was I would take courses that I could online (though it was more expensive) or take classes that were all lecture.

I couldn't avoid it eventually so I ended up having to do it, but I noticed that the more I did group work and if the teacher was really outgoing and friendly I felt more comfortable to participate in class. Maybe the first times in a while will be really intense for you but if you stick with it they'll become more comfortable for you. You could try just doing a little at a time, like one class a semester and easing into it. I find that whenever I get focused on schoolwork I tend to become calmer and am not as self-conscious of the things that make me anxious. Maybe that'll help for you.

And you aren't pathetic. You are certainly not alone in those feelings, but they can at least be overcomed somewhat.

 

[SilentStranger]

Mate,

I have been in the same boat. I used to hide in the corner of last row of lectures most of the time. The worst time was between classes, student used to hang out in one big cafe on campus. I used to from eat outside, so wouldn't have to go through groups of uni students at the caf. And would hide in the library at other times. I didn't really make friends at all..except for one guy. He was in my class and used to catch the same train. I have absolutely no idea why then he suddenly and inexplicably stopped talking to me too. Even then I was OK being a loner at uni until it was time to form groups to do group work. It was hell... I did not have anybody to do the work with.

One day out of the blue, one guy asked me if I have lab group and asked me to join his group. That was god send. They were international students. If it wasn't for him I probably would have quit before the end of the semester.

Even after that things were scary and I almost quit a number of times. What kept me there was even bigger problem of doing a job. Buy this stage I have quick my part time job. After that things were relatively Ok. Infact I believed by the time I would finish I would be Ok and I would have friends and a life... even though in back of my mind I thought nothing would change.

Although I failed a lot of subjects, I did manage to finish the course. Unfortunately, things did not pan out as well on other fronts. I did still have a "life" or many friends as all but one returned to their countries.

During my time at uni I did meet 1 guy who looked like he has SP. He also finished his course. So I guess we might feel pathetic and look weird to others, we can survive. I don't know your background, but I am ethnic...so I had other things to worry about too.. hopefully things will turn out better for you. Hang in there.

PS: its good to see another Aussie on the forums

-SS

 

[obita]

Hey there, welcome.

I haven't experienced it to same extent as you but I would suggest trying to hang in there a little longer... at least until just before the census cut-off date for removing subjects etc.

Depending on the uni, one of the benefits of being a student is free access to counselors (especially if they're good ones). Not only might they work with you but they may also be able to work out special considerations or alternate assessments if your condition is severe to preclude onerous group work.

 

[TheNewZero]

Yep yep I know how you feel. Actually, for me it was more in high school that I was having these problems. College has been gradually getting better for me. I still feel that I can't relate to any of the students in my class, but I've grown to accept that. Now I just focus on what I'm learning, and my teachers. I tend to get along very well with teachers, as I'm a pretty good student. Just ignore the students in your class. I know, I know, easier said than done. But the thing that made college ten times better than high school was that college was so big, and you can tend to just...disappear. You might want to try to get into smaller classes next time, or the opposite if you're in small classes now. I had an easier time with big classes, and now that I'm more used to it I'm in small classes, and I find it easier to talk in class. Something that I used to do that my psychologist told me about was to look around when I was getting nervous that people were watching me and see how many people were actually watching me. Most of the time no one is. Okay, well hope this helped. I hope it gets better for you, I really enjoy college now, even though I don't have any friends. I like to learn, and my teachers really like me. You just have to kind of find where you fit in and make the best of it.

 

[Lan]

Thanks so much for your responses & thanks also for the welcome. TheNewZero, I'm glad to hear that college is going so well for you! It's good to know that it can happen! And obita, I might look into seeing what kind of counselling is available, although I'm not sure how I'd go with it at this point in time.

It's really helpful to have these responses to relate to and to know I'm not the only person who's been freaked out by the social aspect of uni. SalemEdgerton, group work and participation is my primary fear as well, though it's extremely encouraging to hear that you gradually felt more comfortable with the whole thing. I'm looking into taking some of the course online as you suggested; I've already got a few units that I can do externally, so that will help! SilentStranger, I'm fine with being 'the loner' too, but when it comes to group work I'm in trouble! It's so cool that you were able to overcome that stuff and actually complete the course! I'm going to try to do the same; I guess it's just a matter of forcing myself to go to classes until it becomes easier.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

Thanks so much for your responses & thanks also for the welcome. TheNewZero, I'm glad to hear that college is going so well for you! It's good to know that it can happen! And obita, I might look into seeing what kind of counselling is available, although I'm not sure how I'd go with it at this point in time.

It's really helpful to have these responses to relate to and to know I'm not the only person who's been freaked out by the social aspect of uni. SalemEdgerton, group work and participation is my primary fear as well, though it's extremely encouraging to hear that you gradually felt more comfortable with the whole thing. I'm looking into taking some of the course online as you suggested; I've already got a few units that I can do externally, so that will help! SilentStranger, I'm fine with being 'the loner' too, but when it comes to group work I'm in trouble! It's so cool that you were able to overcome that stuff and actually complete the course! I'm going to try to do the same; I guess it's just a matter of forcing myself to go to classes until it becomes easier.

Thanks again everyone!

You have an awesome attitude Lan. Maintain that attitude and you'll be able to get through it okay. Think of group work as something that everyone has to do because that's the truth; everyone has to do it and most people don't really go ga ga over group work anyways, so you aren't alone in that. That uneasiness will most likely always be there (it still bothers me), but if you can cope with it, the only mildly anxious part is forming groups and that lasts all of 10 seconds. I wish the best of luck and hope your classes go great.