Conversation probs?

[stinkyllama]

-deleted-

 

[Tanya_S]

I'm finding it difficult to converse with others. I find myself at lost for words and awkward moments of silence throw me back into my social anxiety mode--complete with blushing and breaking out into a nervous sweat. It's as if my brain just shuts down even when doing small chit-chat.

I can definetly connect with that. I dont go out or anything, but i find that this happens a lot when i go to the university.

 

[Fighter86]

It happens to me frequently which is why I tend to force myself to think of questions to ask & tend to speak very fast as I cannot stand the akward silinces.

 

[Tanya_S]

It happens to me frequently which is why I tend to force myself to think of questions to ask & tend to speak very fast as I cannot stand the akward silinces.

Yeah i do this too, only leaves me more socialy anxious than ever abt what ppl are thinking abt me and sometimes i ask such stupid questions that it sooo embarassing. i hate situations when conversations die out...

 

[shy_uk]

I totally agree, its soooo hard trying to make conversations with people.

The confident world always seems to have something exciting or interesting to talk about yet I just feel Im too dull to start up anything interesting in conversation.

Shy_uk

 

[B23]

I think one important thing to remember is that more introverted people, and those with social phobias in particular, have been shown to be more aware of social cues than others and also tend to blame themselves when the conversation hits a dead end. Most people don't study conversations or dwell upon them like someone with social phobias does...so, first of all, I learned to give myself a break! I started reminding myself that hitting "dead ends" in conversations is to an extent normal and, although it took a lot of times before it made me feel any better, constantly reminding myself that this conversation is 50% their responsiblity as well. Also, I found that looking back on what I did right in conversations (even if it was simply responding back with a friendly hello) helped me to see improvements I was making in the long run.

 

[Angie_05]

I used to be that way with conversations. In fact, I would never speak a word to anybody until they spoke to me first.

I still have hesitations on being the first to speak, but I can conversate much better now. I finally realized that my words are worth just as much as anybody else's, and I didn't always have to say the right thing.

It took me one experience of jumping into a conversation head first and then I felt much more comfortable after that. I really had the urge to speak up because I could relate to what the person was talking about. I was nervous, but I did it, and I found that they responded by telling me their own experiences. And it just went back and forth. I think the key thing for me was knowing I didn't have to say anything that would be ground-breaking, and that every person has equally useful things to say, including me.

 

[Faith]

Hiya everyone! I've been lurking for quite some time and decided to actually sign up and post. Anyhoo, I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember and have finally gathered enough courage to throw myself into social situations (ie, join clubs and a sorority). However....

I'm finding it difficult to converse with others. I find myself at lost for words and awkward moments of silence throw me back into my social anxiety mode--complete with blushing and breaking out into a nervous sweat. It's as if my brain just shuts down even when doing small chit-chat.

Have any of you experienced this and if so, how have you handled it? It's really ruining my life because this happens in job interviews as well. Thanks!!

This is SOOOOO me! Due to my job, I'm always involved in interactive meetings and when I went to university, heck, that was another story! I literally stumbled and trembled throughout my first year. Even my prof. noticed it and brought me aside. We had to do intro's and everything, the very thing which most social phobes detest! 'THE ROUND TABLE INTRO DISCUSSION!" argggghhh!

Well, I never did finish university, but I do have hopes of becoming more than I am right now. I don't want to look back on my life and think of all the things I didn't do, all because of social anxiety!

 

[Richey]

I know what you mean about trying to maintain a steady conversation.
Dont know if its a symptom of SA but i find it difficult concentrating and taking things in.
I know people who can watch a TV Show and remember almost every line. That kind of memory is a slow development that happens over years of practice. The people who i know that can do it are extrmemly confident personalities. I have a mate who is as dopey as you could imagine and hes not the best looking person in the world. But because he is confident he is constantly being hasseled by girls to go out on dates. And his concentration is incredible.
In saying that he comes across as kind of fake! in a way!