Constantly being told I need to be more social

[girlinthecorner]

I have a now ex-boyfriend who constantly tells me I have a problem and need to make friends. It annoys the crap out of me. And no matter how many times I tell him it annoys me he keeps doing it because he's "worried about me." The thing is I don't feel like I have a problem. I am usually fine with how I am. I'm just more antisocial. I don't usually have problems with talking to people, I just usually don't want to. He cant' understand that because he's the opposite. He's very shy and when we met he didn't have any friends but desperately wants them; complete opposite of me. He feels like I should be desperate too because he thinks having a lot of friends is what makes people normal and happy, but as I've told him over and over, I've had lots of friends before and it's not what makes me happy. I'd rather have one good friend than a bunch of fake ones, which is what he went out and did and it just makes me mad and sad.

He would also tell me I needed to use Facebook and go out to clubs and go to internet meetups just to talk to people. I'm not interested in any of those things. I tried facebook for him and it's just not for me but of course he can't understand that.

And what sucks is this the 3rd guy who has had a problem with how I am when it comes to being social. I can't meet anyone who just likes me how I am. And as I told my ex, it's weird that my family knows how I am and has never said anything about me having a problem. They'll just joke about it which is fine.

 

[kilojoule]

Don't worry nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do


But if you want to hear my honest opinion

I hope you don't mind me saying this or take me up wrong, just telling you like it is from the info you've given in your post.

You communicate two major themes

1) a bit angry towards people.

2) 3 successive relationships suggests you do enjoy being in the company of others.

I dont know you at all but based on your post, I'd guess you used to be sociable and you got hurt.

Maybe your boyfriend is receiving that same message and is responding to it by trying to help you build bridges with people.

 

[girlinthecorner]

I guess I am a bit angry towards him. It makes me angry that he wants to change me and change himself into what he thinks is normal. So he chooses to hang out with this bad crowd of people who aren't really his friends and doesn't seem to like him, instead of me, his one real friend.
I've never been very social but yeah I did usually like being around him. He thinks I would be happier if I had a lot of friends because that's what he feels would make him happy but just having him made me happy ::

 

[surewhynot]

He should had accepted you the way you are, that's pretty important in a relationship, not trying to change your partner. I know that feeling when you like being with someone so much that you don't really need having anyone else..

 

[DDMTAHABC]

Don't listen to him, having a lot of friends is not for everyone. I was in a similar situation a while ago where my gf was trying to convince me that I needed to make more friends and that didn't work out. For some people it's better to just have a couple of good friends. I couldn't stand having to deal with that many people, I like being alone too much.