Confused and lonely

[TheStatue]

There is a very nice girl in my class at the university I'm attending. I hardly know her. She sometimes asks me for help on some lessons, on subjects like programming. I cannot do small talk, but if anybody asks me an academic question or something about which I have a special interest, I start speaking non-stop (probably too much). I value the moments she talks to me, since those are basically the only moments I have spoken to anybody in a long time. Even if "talking" in this sense means me holding a lecture for her, she actually seems pretty enthusiastic about it.

These are rare occurrences though, and lately she hasn't showed up on any classes for like two weeks. I think she has a hard time right now, and seems pretty lonely. Possibly she has SAD herself. I fear she might drop out completely.::

I want to do anything I can to help her and make her happy. I have been thinking to ask if we could perhaps study together some time. But here is the problem: I completely lack social skills and have very bad self-confidence. I have no friends to turn to and I have always spent all my time alone. I don't think I can do it. I may have misinterpreted the situation and fear coming off as ridiculous. I don't know what she really thinks of me. However, I will never forgive myself if she drops out.

I can't stop thinking of this, of her. :: I don't know what to do. Sorry if I come off as pathetic. I'm confused with my life and just had to vent I guess. I don't really know what I'm asking for, so feel free to reply in anyway you want.

 

[planemo]

Don't worry I'm exactly the same. I just don't do small talk with anyone let alone with someone of the opposite sex. I don't know if you have a crush on her or anything, but if I were in your shoes, I would probably feel the same way - totally confused. If you become assertive (which I'm sure is problematic for people like us) then you risk messing everything up. At the same time if you keep your head stuck under the sand, you might risk missing a golden opportunity to find a friend or gf. I wish I had some advice, but all I can tell you is that you're alone in feeling the way you do.

 

[TheStatue]

Thank you very much for just responding. I was beginning to feel ridiculous for posting this and was about to ask for deletion of the thread. Now it may as well stay there. And yes, I'm trying my hardest not to have a crush on her (I know it wouldn't end well).

 

[SplosionDude]

I'd try and suggest studying outside class together. Yeah, i know, way easier said than done, but she obviously doesn't hate you if she turns to you when she needs help in class. Even if she says no, at least you will have made one huge step towards getting over sad and can go on without any regrets.

 

[Etherwind]

Ask her if she wants to go out for waffles with you sometime. It's less cliche' than coffee & still real casual - be creative. Have you ever seen 40 year old virgin? Don't put the pussy on the pedestal! You are a person, she is a person - just be people together and don't be ashamed of the fact that you desire good company from good people. Chances are she would be flattered.

 

[Honda]

Hey, u want her dont you? so might as well dont give a sh*t about your lack of confidence and weaknesses and do what it takes to get her... but if you lose the battle, lose it with decency dont beg!
Everybody got issues and problems so big deal who cares, try to make her enjoy ur company and see where it goes..

 

[Avarak]

Ask her if she want's to grab lunch or something after class, you might be surprised because she will most likely say yes.

 

[Anomaly]

If you study with someone, you're not there to entertain them. That may be a bonus, but studying works well without it.