So this is complicated, hopefully I can explain this well lol.
About 7yrs ago when I got this cleaning job, which now i actually work for the company that I cleaned..so I dont clean anymore. But anyway, me and this guy has a crush on one another at this place, he was a mechanic and I was the cleaner, we were with someone..but there was always this passing flirtation, and I would always catch him staring at me, talking about me, overhear stuff. Well we ended up going on a few dates over different periods of time..the last one we weren't with anyone and we had dinner and slept together, it looked like after all those feelings for eachother the anticipation we were finally going to start a relationship..and now when I look back that whole night seemed like a dream to me..its so foggy in my mind..but anyway after that a couple of days past..now at this point Im actually working for the same company he is..I got offered a job there..but anyway I decided I would have flowers sent to him. Kinda weird I know..Im a woman and I sent flowers to him..some guys do like that from what I read to me the idea was totally romantic..well they got sent and he did like them..but the guys really busted his chops for it..made fun of him. I talked to him on the phone later that night and he told me about it..then he said he wants to see other people, I was in shock..after all that time, all that hell waiting for the right moment..time, we were both single and then that. I never felt the humilitation I felt at that moment when he told me. I took it as..hes not interested at all or he let his guy friends pressure him into slowing things down. So I got a bit irrational..sent him a nasty email..which was very unlike me..I don't do things like that normally. I had obviously very powerful feelings for him, maybe too powerful. Anyway needless to say nothing went any further. Ended up I found out he was going to get laid off from the place we were working..I did the dumb thing and sent him an email asking if it was true...well he ended up flipping out at the person who was going to lay him off..and he thought the email I sent him was a practical joke sent by someone using my computer "because he didnt think I would send him an email asking him if he got canned or something along them lines" Well I did and boy did I regret it. I ended up after sending some awkward emails to eachother, wishing him good luck and he said thanks. To me though it was the icing on the proverbal embarrassment cake! lol
Well fast foward to today, I found out hes been asked to come back to work. also too someone tried to rub in or see how I would react..told me about a month ago he's getting married, I pretended to play it cool and said oh thats great! Just like today I pretended "oh okay cool..hes coming back. Really I don't want to see his face ever again, not because I hate him, not because I love him...but just because for some reason I feel like I failed and he evokes strong emotions in me that I do not understand.
So my question is..does anyone have that 1 person..that just makes them go all nutty when you see them or act like an idiot because they evoke stong emotions for some reason? That 1 person..that you don't want to see ever again because you can't deal with your feelings around them?
Some people would call it love, but I think not nessacarily.
About 7yrs ago when I got this cleaning job, which now i actually work for the company that I cleaned..so I dont clean anymore. But anyway, me and this guy has a crush on one another at this place, he was a mechanic and I was the cleaner, we were with someone..but there was always this passing flirtation, and I would always catch him staring at me, talking about me, overhear stuff. Well we ended up going on a few dates over different periods of time..the last one we weren't with anyone and we had dinner and slept together, it looked like after all those feelings for eachother the anticipation we were finally going to start a relationship..and now when I look back that whole night seemed like a dream to me..its so foggy in my mind..but anyway after that a couple of days past..now at this point Im actually working for the same company he is..I got offered a job there..but anyway I decided I would have flowers sent to him. Kinda weird I know..Im a woman and I sent flowers to him..some guys do like that from what I read to me the idea was totally romantic..well they got sent and he did like them..but the guys really busted his chops for it..made fun of him. I talked to him on the phone later that night and he told me about it..then he said he wants to see other people, I was in shock..after all that time, all that hell waiting for the right moment..time, we were both single and then that. I never felt the humilitation I felt at that moment when he told me. I took it as..hes not interested at all or he let his guy friends pressure him into slowing things down. So I got a bit irrational..sent him a nasty email..which was very unlike me..I don't do things like that normally. I had obviously very powerful feelings for him, maybe too powerful. Anyway needless to say nothing went any further. Ended up I found out he was going to get laid off from the place we were working..I did the dumb thing and sent him an email asking if it was true...well he ended up flipping out at the person who was going to lay him off..and he thought the email I sent him was a practical joke sent by someone using my computer "because he didnt think I would send him an email asking him if he got canned or something along them lines" Well I did and boy did I regret it. I ended up after sending some awkward emails to eachother, wishing him good luck and he said thanks. To me though it was the icing on the proverbal embarrassment cake! lol
Well fast foward to today, I found out hes been asked to come back to work. also too someone tried to rub in or see how I would react..told me about a month ago he's getting married, I pretended to play it cool and said oh thats great! Just like today I pretended "oh okay cool..hes coming back. Really I don't want to see his face ever again, not because I hate him, not because I love him...but just because for some reason I feel like I failed and he evokes strong emotions in me that I do not understand.
So my question is..does anyone have that 1 person..that just makes them go all nutty when you see them or act like an idiot because they evoke stong emotions for some reason? That 1 person..that you don't want to see ever again because you can't deal with your feelings around them?
Some people would call it love, but I think not nessacarily.
