Completely frustrated & obsessed

[grapevine]

Hi guys,

This might be long- so I apologise-

A bit about me- I have had social phobia for a long time- I am in my early 30s and been a hermit for most of my 20s. Things are going okay now though- for the first time in my life I feel confident somewhat in working around people and actually being a bit social- of course no one really knows the degree of the enormity of this for me- but I keep that to myself.

Anyway, thing is tho, there is a guy who works with me and is the same age. He has schizophrenia and can be very unsocial sometimes and the completely opposite other times. And I am confused because I dont know if its his illness, medication or that he is just not that interested in me?

Edited eek

 

[spring]

If I were you, I would act friendly towards him and only work when I am getting paid.
You don't need to put yourself in a position that's not beneficial to you so you can help hem even though he doesn't appreciate what you're doing for him.
It is kind of unhealthy to start a relationship like that. If he is into you , he would have to find a way to approach you without you trying to win his affection by sacrificing your free time.
Trust me , when you have SA You don't need to be in an unhealthy relationship, It will only worsens your self esteem issues.

Good luck

 

[fate12321]

just keep acting friendly toward him. Sooner or later something might evolve between you too. Just don't be pushy or else you might scare him

 

[Sacrament]

Don't give him those weekends just because you have a crush on him, he's just taking advantage of how nice you are to him. Plus, if he's so unstable and random as it is, imagine what that would be like in a relationship, not to mention what would happen if things went sour and you had to keep working together.

 

[grapevine]

Thanks guys, I think I know in my heart that I am just hurting myself by working on those weekends- to some degree i do enjoy it regardless of him- but when he is there it feels a bit wrong and I know that I just want to get that thrill of being around him which I hate myself for- even if he likes me or not.

Good thing about my work though is that if it got really bad I could just change my days and never see him.

....
The more I think about it - the more I realise that I am just ruminating over things- and anyway- there are things I dont like about him anyway... its just really, really annoying how we can put a crush on a high peda-stool and totally loose ourselves over it - thats what is really bugging me- and I think its especially hard when you have SP. Because we usually have insecurities. Thing is because he has schizophrenia -he can be impossible to read even as a friend and even to approach sometimes-

So, I think I am just going to keep my boundaries but be friendly.. and that means not working on weekends~ and making my own things a priority. : )

Hes a nice guy- but Im not going to lose myself over some affection.