Jacky1980
Well-known member
Everyone, let’s calm down and look back, to our childhood. I remember I once saw a situation on TV: a boy, running, jumping and smiling, he entered a room full of strange adults who he had never seen before, suddenly he felt nervous, he blushed to the extreme degree, and he didn’t do anything to conceal his nervousness, he just showed all of his bad feeling on his face, after seconds of awkward situation, he left the room, after that, he soon recovered from the embarrassing moment, as if it had never happened, he was still running, jumping and smiling, the awkward situation didn’t leave any trace in his mind, he was still that happy boy. So when he entered the room for the second time, he might still be nervous, but he still didn’t think that it did matter, he didn’t care about that at all, never took it seriously. If he felt nervous, just let himself be nervous, if he blushed, he just blushed freely, even if people laughed at him. All in all, he had no mental conflict in his mind, he didn’t want to repel or suppress his anxiety. Therefore, after many times of entering that room, he grew familiar with the environment, he was not afraid of it any more, he can behave freely and in that environment naturally. Actually what mentioned above is the typical way many people grow up, people grow from timidity to bravery, grow from being ignorant to being knowledgeable, grow from being unfamiliar with the environment to being familiar with the environment, it is a natural process, but we social phobia sufferers are different, we are too sensitive, when we first met such awkward situation, in our childhood or in an earlier stage of our lives, we took it as a sort of demon, when we felt nervous, we thought to ourselves, “how can I behave like that.”, when we blush, we think, “how can I do that, people will think of me as a freak.”, when we felt we are stupid in other ones’ eyes, we tried to repel or suppress such thought in our mind. You see, we are making a battle against ourselves, we are attacking and trying to defeat not the outside world but ourselves, just like that we try to pull our own hair, wanting to lift us up away from the ground, according to Newton’s Law of Force & Counter-force, we will never succeed, what’s worse, we will suffer additionally by doing that because we are trying to break the law of nature. In the case of Social Phobia, actually we are making the same mistake, but we don’t realize that, we are always doing the same thing as air-pulling, we fight against ourselves, we try to escape from ourselves, we try to break the law of nature, so we will be punished by the nature, the punishment is Social Phobia.
So, now, it is time to turn back, it is time to retreat, it is a battle we will never win, because it is a battle against ourselves, against the law of nature, how can we defeat ourselves, just like that we can never lift ourselves up by pulling our own hair.
How to turn back, contrary to what we did in the past, we should learn to accept ourselves now, accept the real ourselves, accept our embarrassment, accept our nervousness, accept our blush, and accept our stupidity, saying to ourselves, “OK, I am nervous now, it is true, it is myself, why I must pretend not to be nervous, why should I pretend not to be myself “, “OK, I am blushing, it is true, why I must pretend to be calm, why should I pretend not to be myself." Etc.
Just like what that boy does, we accept what we are like, by doing that, we stop fueling our social anxiety any more, and it will gradually be alleviated to the normal degree, because we set ourselves free, we don’t force ourselves to repel or suppress our social anxiety, we stop fight against the law of nature, the nature will stop punishing us, after some time, sooner or later, we will find our Social Phobia has disappear, we come back to normal again.
So, now, it is time to turn back, it is time to retreat, it is a battle we will never win, because it is a battle against ourselves, against the law of nature, how can we defeat ourselves, just like that we can never lift ourselves up by pulling our own hair.
How to turn back, contrary to what we did in the past, we should learn to accept ourselves now, accept the real ourselves, accept our embarrassment, accept our nervousness, accept our blush, and accept our stupidity, saying to ourselves, “OK, I am nervous now, it is true, it is myself, why I must pretend not to be nervous, why should I pretend not to be myself “, “OK, I am blushing, it is true, why I must pretend to be calm, why should I pretend not to be myself." Etc.
Just like what that boy does, we accept what we are like, by doing that, we stop fueling our social anxiety any more, and it will gradually be alleviated to the normal degree, because we set ourselves free, we don’t force ourselves to repel or suppress our social anxiety, we stop fight against the law of nature, the nature will stop punishing us, after some time, sooner or later, we will find our Social Phobia has disappear, we come back to normal again.
