Colleagues

[aj]

Before I had this job I hoped that when I got one I would eventually become friends with some of the people where I ended up working. Well now I get on with them fine, but that's where it ends. I've been told by someone that when you work with them for five days a week and get on then you can consider them friends. But how can you be friends if you don't even have each other's phone numbers?

All I can think is that maybe they see it differently to me because 'everyone' has at least some friends which they've known for years, and so they are content and have something to start from.

I don't see these people as friends, just people who I happen to work with and get on with. I don't mean anything bad about them, and I wished it went further. If I left tomorrow I would never see them again. This has happened to me before.

Have I got this all wrong? Am I wanting too much, do I actually have lots of friends now? Is this it?

 

[lurknomore]

I'm not really sure about this myself. If having lots of colleagues that you talk to and see alot (at work) means you have friends, then maybe I have more than I thought. But, a lot of people at my workplace also get together and do things outside of work- hang out drinking on weekends, etc. And I think real friends are the ones you would see outside of work- those you work with are just friendly acquaintances I think. But, I'm not sure how to go about making these acquaintances into real friends. Nobody seems to take the initiative and ask me to do anything with them outside of work- I guess I need to be the one to take initiative, but so far, that's just not my thing. So, I guess until we have the confidence/courage/whatever to take the initiative with people, we'll remain without true friends.

 

[lookyloo]

Hmmm... I would just give it time, you can't really force a relationship. Give people time, let them see the true you.

 

[aj]

I'm not alone in thinking that then. I thought I was.

Nobody seems to take the initiative and ask me to do anything with them outside of work- I guess I need to be the one to take initiative, but so far, that's just not my thing.

This is me exactly. Nobody ever asks me out. I'm trying to find ways to start things, but it doesn't help when you never get asked out yourself so you can't see how it's done.

Hmmm... I would just give it time, you can't really force a relationship. Give people time, let them see the true you.

I've been with these guys since last June or July ::

 

[lookyloo]

I always say that my friends are 1 in a million. I work with a lot of people and I have to say that it has always clicked with me. Is there anyone at work with whom you particularly relate to well?

 

[alter_ego]

I think it just takes people with sp longer to make friends than more confident people. I've been on my secton for a year and I got asked to go for a drink with three colleauges tonight but I said no, I couldn't face crowded Friday night pubs. I have been with them before tho, on a couple of lunchtimes.

But I do have three good friends on other sections and if one or all of them had asked, I probably would have gone out for an hour or so as I feel far more comfortable with them because I've known them as friends now for about seven or eight years.