chewed to bits!

[jojosparkles]

its me sis 18th tomorro and she is havin a house party. im chewed to bits. i have to get ready and look nice and the amount of time i spend in front of the mirror is goin to kill me cos i will pick myself to bits..get upset and cry. i dont wanna spoil her bday. its her special day. ppl will b comin that i dont kno either!
i have binged and slept all day cos i fink its my way of coping! i just feel like i want to cry. i cant escape and i kno i will feel bloody awful! a dunno wat to do!

 

[Scottish_Player]

I was gonna say dont waorry but i know its not that easy, try to think more about after the party is finished and how good you will feel for getting through it all, and once you get a few drinks in you that should help a little to get rid of the nerves, i was going to say if all else fails you could make an excuse to leave but then i remebered its your home lol

 

[Nie]

I also die everyday in front of the mirror, for hours..
It's terribly energy draining and stressing to be so painful with yourself.

Got diacepam/valium or anything like that? Even valerian?
It's handy for certain situations if you can control it.
(I think it's way better than alcohol..)
You can take it just once .. because it's your sister's birthday..
How about that?

If you don't get easily addicted to these things only, of course..
It could help a little; maybe better than nothing.


Does your sister know about this problem of yours?
Perhaps you could make a deal with her.. that you can withdraw at times..
if you can't endure anymore.. before you begin to cry.. whenever..

 

[cherish]

Your pictures are beautiful just to let you know so you shouldn't worry about looking bad. I think it would be a good idea to maybe go half the time or take breaks. I know how it is feeling guilty when your problems take away from the focus of something else, don't be down on yourself though, you are trying to work through it and i bet your sister respects that.

 

[jojosparkles]

aw thanks cherish..thats really sweet of ya!

well im still up now worryin! could also b the fact that i slept all day! lol! My sis is cool about it..i will show my face and if i stress il just had to have a bit time in my bedroom..im sure tho that once everyone is pissed they wont care anyway! lol! and they will have their beer goggles on! :wink:

 

[jojosparkles]

oh gawd! i have to get ready in a bit!

a feel awful! i feel like a bit fat pig and like a balloon with legs and arms and a big fat huge ball head!

i am debating on whether to just say i feel ill and go to bed! me sis will b gutted tho! im shakin like a leaf and i feel a panic attack coming on! mine happens when i get ready and stress myself! oh the joys!

 

[crazyfairyx]

I know how you feel, when I feel like I have to dress up and stuff I feel ridiculously ugly, but it's just paranoia and stress making you think that. Try to go to the party, but if you can't then just say you feel ill and go to your room. Don't beat yourself up if you can't stay, because at least you tried. And you are really pretty, I know telling you that won't help much, but it's true, lots of girls would love to look like you.

 

[jojosparkles]

well lads n lasses...the party has been!
It went alright actually! i got ready and felt like a big fat whale but i just thought u can not make a scene and its ya lil sis bday. i lay down on the bed and calmed myself down and was ok.

at first i hung round the entrance to the living room and then sat covered with a big cushion...lol..as if it would hide me! lol! i had a few drinks and i came to life! i have made new friends now and they had told lauren how lovely i was. they even slept over and i was there in my pjs and no make up and just was not bothered!

i feel a bit crappy and like huuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaagggggggggeeeeeeee today but im tryin not to let it get to me! i havent come this far for nothing!

 

[cameron]

if you have a valium or a xanax take it 30 minutes before they get there. Try listening to some relaxation tapes too.

 

[jojosparkles]

haha can i just say...u kno the party was last week! well i was there feelin really fat and ugly and then i was in my pjs and not a scrap of make up to hide behind and one of me sisters mates now really fancies me! lol!

shows it all is in our heads sometimes! :wink:

 

[crazyfairyx]

haha can i just say...u kno the party was last week! well i was there feelin really fat and ugly and then i was in my pjs and not a scrap of make up to hide behind and one of me sisters mates now really fancies me! lol!

shows it all is in our heads sometimes! :wink:

Hehe that's great! It seems odd to a lot of girls, but often guys like us when we're just chilling out looking like slobs lol!! Means they like the real us, it's great! You go girl :wink:

 

[jojosparkles]

fanks babes!!!

u kno havin sp for me has been a blessin in disguise! i used to b a lovely girl and really sweet and caring and then i became obsessed with the way that i looked and i turned into such a shallow person! i totally thought i was better than everyone else and got away with it really...i was a horrible person and just didnt really care for ppls feelings as long as i was beautiful and getting attention. yak..looking back i hated that person!

now tho i would rather b in me pjs and no make up and liked for bein the true me..not because of how i look...personality is so much more important...and after all..looks fade!!

 

[crazyfairyx]

now tho i would rather b in me pjs and no make up and liked for bein the true me..not because of how i look...personality is so much more important...and after all..looks fade!!

Yup, I couldn't agree more, people who think they are wonderful always end up self destructing, because no one can look perfect forever, and we all luv ya just as you are x