Sorry to hear that. I am going through the same. I've been aware of my OCD for 10 years now although I've never been actually diagnosed. It comes and goes but lately its been pretty bad. I've also caused some damage in my relationship with my bf as well.
My bf is wonderful and things have been going so well. Lately I have been freaking out over nothing. Making stuff up in my head and then bugging him like crazy until he practically breaks up with me. Damage has definitely been done although we are still together. I know I must get this under control or else I will lose him.
That being said, I will try to give you some advice that has helped me before in the past. They are things I know I must start doing myself before this goes any further.
You have already disclosed your diagnosis to your bf and it really freaked him out. If I were you, I wouldn't use him as a shrink or get obsessed trying to make him "understand". He can't understand because he doesn't have OCD and doesn't get it and probably never will. I'm not saying you should hide it...I'm just suggesting that you talk to a therapist (although they haven't ever helped me much) or use this forum. Talking to someone who "gets it" (has it) is probably your best option.
I've been reading a lot lately about OCD because many years ago I literally thought I was going crazy and actually was able to modify my behavior, all by myself...with knowledge. You need to understand what is happening to you.
Even though you KNOW that the thoughts you are having are unrealistic, you keep obsessing anyway. That is your obsession. You only feel better once you start an argument with your bf, possibly trying to get attention, or trying to relieve what is eating away at you. That is your compulsion.
It is really hard to just stop obsessing. The articles I have read are exactly in line with what I did years ago to temporarily make it stop. You have to stop the compulsion...fighting with your bf. If you stop that, you will see that nothing bad happens by not doing so. The obsession eventually goes away. Sounds easy, but it actually takes quite a bit of work.
When you are feeling these obsessive thoughts, refuse to even mention it to your bf. Come and post to the forum for support instead.
I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.
I was just recently diagnosed officially with OCD.. ive always known Ive had it but now its for sure...
