cant believe im writing this

[alonethinker]

ok so here goes....i have suffered intrusive thoughts for years it first started off with violent thoughts and an extreme fear i would kill someone, then i was obssessed with the fact that i was gay and everyone thought i was gay. Now i am dealing with thee worst thing iv ever known in my life and that the fear of being a peadophile and people finding out that im having these thoughts and images accompanied by the fear. I get anxiety now and its not as bad as the anxiety of when it first started which worries me as i read that peados dont have anxiety or guilt and my fear is that im losing these feeling because im accepting that i am in fact one and that i will carry out the thoughts :: im also getting responses down below but its not the same responses as when im with my boyfriend its sometimes a slight arousal or a burning pain i dont know wether this is because my ocd says im am a sexual deviant and my body responds or because i like the thoughts but dont see how i could like them when i want to die when i get them im so terrified whenever i see a baby or child on tv i think straight away to my gronial region to see if there is a response. the thoughts have eased loads and i get days where i know 100% im not a peado then the next day the thoughts of doubts come back :: the thoughts arent as bad but i constanty have the woord peado placed in my mind. It says i am one and whoever i walk past could be one also and even celebrities on tv could be one i cant shake this stupid word and stupid thought!:: AM I SICK!! x

 

[kihira]

Your intrusive thoughts follow typical themes for people with OCD and from what I understand they generally stay in the realm of thoughts only. Are you getting any therapy for your OCD, this is the only illness apparent here

 

[Kamen]

Have you ever been diagnosed with OCD?

 

[Iam.myhair]

Sweetheart.. listen to me. Do you think pedophiles would be worried that they were one? no. You were raised right (obviously)
You have OCD. It's a fact. It's the fact that you KNOW you'de never do it and know it's wrong.. therefore you don't have to worry. I have the EXACT same problem. Contact me if you want to talk about it! God bless you.

Brent.

 

[Paahi]

Hi alonethinker.
If you were a pedo you wouldn't be worrying about it.
You have OCD. Are you getting any therapy?