can we really change who we are as people?

[lifes_to_long]

I've been thinking about this alot rescently and wondering can I really change who I am? not only in SA terms but as a person. as a whole I guess Ive been looking very introspectively at myself and others around me and feeling different not only in the sense that I have SA but personality terms aswell. I really want to be in a place where I can grow as a person with people I know and can trust which is something I find hard to find not only because I don't leave the house much but in my essential understanding of the world around me.Which to me is an intelligent interpretation but to others, well they don't understand.I guess I want the world to be a harmoneous place full of understanding and help but for someone like me, it really isn't that.thanks for reading.oli

 

[lifes_to_long]

don't be put off by my intelligence!please reply lol

 

[shon]

We can change our perspectives but not really who we are. It'd be nice to kick that pesky SA habit, that's for sure!

 

[sidney]

i believe we can all change if we really want to but dont change yourself completely for others im sure you've a few good characteristics that should be kept and also one or two that you cant completly get rid of, you can hide them but maybe not fully
as long as you change only because you want to and only if its for the better

 

[Pretender]

wow, thats a difficult question. I think people do change, slowly, but they do change. It's like they say "Memories make the man" which i think is very true. So if u grow older and gain more memories your personality changes with it. Thats why i think anyway. btw your question reminds me of the series House lol, hes alway like "people dont change" :lol:

anyway, hope this answers your question.

 

[sidney]

oh i love wtching House, hes soooooo brilliant!!

 

[shon]

wow, thats a difficult question. I think people do change, slowly, but they do change. It's like they say "Memories make the man" which i think is very true. So if u grow older and gain more memories your personality changes with it. Thats why i think anyway. btw your question reminds me of the series House lol, hes alway like "people dont change" :lol:

anyway, hope this answers your question.

Yeah, I agree with that. We can't change things instantly but with age and experiences, you do change. Maybe I'm too used to myself but I didn't even think about that!!

 

[lifes_to_long]

I'm really interested in the theories of personal change and have really enjoyed reading what everyones had to say about it.I think that change is certain,either for better or for worse it must be or the evolution of man would never change.But its what we can do with that and the speed and direction in which we can take that that really gets me thinking.

 

[miss_amy]

I think people change as they get older anyway. I'm a different person from my teens. You can change if you want to.

 

[Doomed2Die]

Change is always happening, completely drastic changes even still happen over a year or two (give or take) and it is likely for those who want it. That is to say, it is very possible and it happens openly between many people, if I was to live in a different enviroment along with different people I would undoubtedly change alot.

Drastic examples can include view points, motivation for life, passions and principles, personality and wisdom. 'Quick' drastic changes rarely happens, it it low level small changes over time continuously.

One cannot simply however want to become or develope a different personality, you have to direct the influence in life on some level but mostly change the line of thought.

I want the world to be a harmoneous place full of understanding and help

And who doesn't? There is very little places in this "world" that are like that, not just for SA'ers but anyone.

or the evolution of man would never change

Or a singular level or as a whole?

 

[tool1919]

I believe we can change, and it comes mainly through understanding. I've been in a downward spiral, gradually, for about a year now. And i'm beginning to see that if you can understand why you feel as you do and question and challenge the fundamental beliefs that define you, or that you think define you, then you can begin to change them and become who you want to be. I think that a lot of my SA, for whatever reason, is due to guilt. Like a lot of SA sufferers, we're perfectionists and if we don't live up to our own high standards then we beat ourselves up and think that the guilt will be motivation to change us. Although i haven't done this yet, i plan to sit down soon and make a list of all the specific times i have felt guilt and beaten my self up and put myself down and challenge these. Has the guilt helped me in any way or has it just held me back? If i can convince myself that this continuous guilt is not helping me but infact doing the opposite, then maybe once and for all i can let it go?

Easier said than done though. Its hard to change these core, subconcious feelings that have been with you for so long, as irrational as they are.

 

[Unfufilled101]

How to put this. I'm i am not the person i was supposed to be, yes i know i'm an introvert but there are introverts who live. I'm blocking myself, sabotage basically, my fears stop me from being the person i should be. But i don't yet know how to become that person but i'll try i just realised i had SA yesterday and even with out knowing that i had started to want to change recently. So i believe it is possible you just need to learn to let go, i know i make those two words sound easy and maybe people will think that. But i know it will probably be the most difficult thing i've ever needed to do in my life.

 

[jessica41481]

i use to wonder the same thing

i use to not like myself at all. but i was also the type of person that would base the perception of myself by what others would think. i stopped doing it and i feel a lot better. truth is that, everyone has flaws. i see flaws in myself all the time, but thats how people are. i think what helped me more is to ( i know it sounds cheezy!) but to think about what is in my heart. i think the more good things you put in there, like caring for my family and all that jazz, and seeing how they love you. i try to love myself the same way. and i think for me in the way i look at others, those are the qualities that i like in people. you could have terrible flaws or things that need to change, but if you are a caring person, even if few people get to see it (again sounds cheezy) those qualities out weigh the bad ones. anyone who reads this can think im an idiot, but truth is that, this is what really helped me change a lot of things that i didnt even see that i had that affected other people. but im also a nutty christian! oh well lolol

my ideas of good qualities is being humble and having a heart to serve family or friends that need you. (and god) but thats because im a christian. i think when you focus on that, people will really overlook the flaws. the flaws wont even matter.

 

[nhen]

I think change is certainly possible. Slow, step-by-step change that is. That said, I think SP is something to be managed, not necessarily overcome.