Can u relate to this strange experience

michel18

michel18

Member
hi

i dont feel like writing a long text here,
but those who know experienced what im about to say,
if any, and thats what in wondering, will know what i i mean...

Have you ever had someone thatwas a bit or more close to you, often times can be a brother or sister(in my case my brother) or a friend
or fam member, and that person then suddenly or slowly moved
out of your life, beyond "your little life" and setting...

... and then while you feel/felt like you were missing them so much
and its so much more boring without them, when he/she is around
nowadays you do not open up or share much with them anymore, almost
like you are "keeping them out" - kinda like you do it because
maybe you dont want to get attached to them anymore because you dont
want to hurt again and they leave again after they dropped by, and maybe for some other reasons like maybe frustration at them for not being there anymore, maybe some anger or something, or what not?

Im asking because i am closing down quite a bit when my brother is
around nowadays when im supposed to be so gld when hes there - and
sometimes hell be all like happy and "hey" and do some stupid dance
to some music thats supposed to be kinda funny , but i just cant get
into it like i used to in the past - like i dont want to get into it
for some reasons, like for the possible reasons and emotions mentioned
above or others...

Basically im not sure exactly what im feeling so amsking if any of you

know or had similar experiences.

And i dont want to be like that anymore, im self sabotaging as i really
care about my bro and want to keep a god relationship but its like im

doing everything wrong and not trying to make it a good time that will

make him want to go on do things with me.

i dunno...
its like a few repressed emotions inside me mixed together
and i want to know what it is and want to get of rid before i
destroy it for good.
 
P

paranoid_android

Well-known member
Sometimes is very hard to see someone you care (and cares about you) moving away. I guess (so I can be wrong:) that many of us has experienced that kind of situation involving someone important to us. I never went through that particular experience, but I have "lost" people that were important to me. Then, thoughts get confusing. One misses him/her, feels frustrated, blame them, feels abandoned. Many things come to our mind.
The truth is that people come and go(lately they go more often and come less but that's another story). We can't forced them to stay and perhaps we would feel guilty if we would do that. They have to go on with their lives.
So it's quite acceptable that you feel that way(confused) but if you think about your brother, perhaps this is a good thing for him like you would want a good thing for yourself. Maybe you are blaming him, even not aware of it, for "leaving" and maybe you are seeing this as he stopped caring about you. I believe that he's just looking the best for him and he still loves you very much. And you said that he still does funny stuff when he's around. You both know that the link was kind of broken but he's trying to keep it alive so... give him a help:). It's up to you, both, to rebuild a new link.
 
DYiNG-iNSiDE

DYiNG-iNSiDE

Well-known member
ya i know exactly what ur talking about. my brothers a yr older than me (hes 17 im 16) and growing up we were always rlly rlly close and could talk about anything. then when he was bout 14 he got into drugs rlly bad and last yr he moved out i miss him so much now i c him mabye breifly every few months and things are so akward between us now :( wow sry that doesnt help u 2 much
 
Tryin

Tryin

Well-known member
hi michel18. i think i know what you're talking 'bout.

i'm going through somethig a little bit similar right now - well both my best friends who i spend most time with in the school are ill so that now i have noone to talk to (it's quite a problem for me to talk to my other classmates :oops:).

and now that i see how much i depend on them, it's hard 'cause i feel that when i depend on someone, it means they could possibly hurt me. (does it make sense? :? ) and i want to protect myself. and thats why i am not so open with them as before.

i don't know if it's the same with you but this is what i feel.
 
michel18

michel18

Member
"tryin", yes kinda the same.

paranoid you said:
" And you said that he still does funny stuff when he's around. You both know that the link was kind of broken but he's trying to keep it alive so... give him a help:). It's up to you, both, to rebuild a new link."

Youre right.

Its just that sometimes its not easy to be all happy and smile when
in particular moments im happy to be with him but realize how i miss that so much and itll be over in a matter of minutes of few hours.

Im kinda sensitive and hes the only one that really make me feel
happy and have fun and goofy, and worryless, when im with him.
So sometimes i feel so sad in a way.
But i do try to take it as best as i can

I know the best i can do is do my best to get my life money/social life/ etc
as best as it can be, and myself as happy and "developed" as i can to have the best chance of keeping our relationship alive - that stagnaating and staying in the past will only lessen our relationship.

Its just with all thos emotions, i dunno...
easier said than done. But i have to try and let go of those emotions
and try to do something, a life and a social life for myself on my own,
and try to see the good things and opportunities...
And then, maybe then, will our relation be more developed and thos emotions i feel, gone.

Today i was with him, been awhile, and it was ok.
not perfect, but we had a few laughs and some moments.

I didnt feel the sadness today and it was great just enjoying and appreciating the moment not be heartbroken.
It went better because of this.

Life is strange.
Sometimes you feel you really need someone in particular, that u cant do without them. Then theyre gone. You dont knowwhat to do, you feel a big piece is missing, And its hard.
Then some time later on (soon i hope) some other things and people take shape in your life and there is more of a balance then.

yea.. even if he was around alot for another 5 years, in 5 years i d still have to develop my on thing, my own life.
And i think its better in a way that its now, beause when hes too much around i dont push my life forward at all. im just content with the curent situation.

So... as much as i hate to say it, theres probably something good in this.
I need to find myself and explore by myself.

dunno if it makes sense.

P.S. thanks for the posts guys. these are hard times emotionally. ive ben quite moved and been quite sensitive these past 2 years.
..yep , thats the time ive stuck in the past and hoped for things to come back to theway they were. I now know they wont, and im only now starting to feel i may be able to handle it and adapt over time and develop my own life and not be so emoionally depedent on my bro.

many may not understand, but when your bro is the funny guy thats so much fun to be around and u just stepped in the passenger seat for years and enjoyed the ride, and all of a sudden the right is over, then youre lost and feel somrthing is majorly missing. that was 2 years ago Now im slowly coming out of it.

still a very long road ahead, and a very lonely one for now.
itll pass i imagine.

thanks again

michel
 
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