Can anyone relate to this?

[CK23]

I've had social anxiety since i became a teen... I've never managed to make any friends my whole life... There's a girl in my workplace whose been kind to me and made me feel comfortable... i want to be friends with her, and i've managed to send her some things like youtube videos and birthday cards and poems to make this connection an actual friendship... She hasnt made any meaningful conversation since the initial love and care she gave... She's a few years older than me and i look up to her and adore her... I was married a year ago but my wife lives in another city and hasnt moved in yet... i struglle to talk to her and feel uncomfortable around her cos of my SA... I ddint even want to marry but had no choice cos of my mom whose been feeling very depressed and a 'no' from me would've broken her heart... I feel really dwon cos my workplace friend is quiet and i need a good friend to help me get the confidence to have a better relationship with my wife.... I feel that if i continue to be lonely i will always remain depressed... I need my friend and i dont consider her as a girlfriend but as someone i can count on for mentorship and advice... I did my best to explain my situation and hope to get some replies...

 

[Agitprop]

I have a somewhat similar situation. I too find it almost impossible to make friends, but several months there was a girl who talked to me all the time and kinda 'forced' me to be her friends (and I'm glad she did). I think she liked me initially, but, for a variety of reasons, nothing happened and now we're just friends. It's a strange situation too, because sometimes we have nothing to talk about and it's awkward, and sometimes it feels like we're more than just friends. Anyway, I hope you can make a friendship with your co-worker, try taking more chances with leading the conversation and such, since it seems like she would go along with it. Also, I suppose watch out for getting too attached to the co-worker, that's what happened to me and now things are complicated :S.

 

[getbornagain]

So you can't make friends but you have a wife?! How did you manage that?? I have a ton of friends but cannot get a girlfriend for the life of me. How about you help me out and I help you out!

 

[CK23]

Dude, thing is i do have a wife but the trouble is i never wished to get married... I wanted to wait as much as i could cos my SA made me feel that it was really inappropriate to get married so soon... Also, i needed the right kind of girl that i liked rather than the girl my parents wanted for me... Now you will say 'what, the heck were you doing pal, you're the one who has to live with her not your parents', i have the same thoughts too sometimes... but the trouble is buddy ,that my dad gets crazy when you dont do the stuff he wants and my mom is suffering from depression since the last 5 years... I really had no choice but to accept and to add more salt to the wounds my wife was about to go insane cos of rejections and another one would have been disastrous for her.... I looked at the overall picture and made this sacrifice.... now about my workplace friend, i DONT ever thing of her as a girlfiriend... She's older, smarter and more confident than me and she's someone i look up to, not someone i want as a wife.. ... She'd swallow me up before i could even blink! but i feel i can confide in her, and treat her as a friend i can count on... Trouble is i cant talk to her as well cos of the fear of rejection ...