Buddhism and Meditation

[Vincent]

I recently did a ten day Vipassana meditation course.

During the course, we spent each day sitting silently and focusing on breathing and then invoking sensations throughout the body.

Although there were people around, there was no communication at all. Not even eye contact. This was an odd experience for me, having my SA.

The meditation itself was very trying. I had to come to terms with my life, and future.

Before the course, we had to all fill out a form detailing our histories of mental health as well as medication and drugs.

I wrote that I have and still do suffer from SA and depression.

At the end of the course, I found that my mind and thinking were sharper. I felt more relaxed in general and also with other people too.

Since then, I have lapsed somewhat. Christmas was a very stressful time with forced proximity and interaction with relatives. I had the usual tendency to compare and found that my cousins were all more successful.

I had decided before the during the course that I would follow some of the principles of the Buddhist moral code for the next year. One of these was to abstain from intoxicants, that just compromise control and lead to regretable choices.

However, I did drink several times, and have suffered as a result on the occassion that I drunk too heavily. The times that I moderated the drinking...it was okay. Over Christmas, people were drinking socially, and to not drink would be making things too hard perhaps.

Another task I set myself up for is to meditate a half hour in the morning, and again in the evening. This really does have a calming effect and helps to alliviate anxiety I've found.

Right now, I am trying to learn more about Buddhism and to come to terms with the ideas. From what I have learnt so far, it seems like a good system for living.

Has anyone else experimented with meditation or experienced Buddhist living? How has in impacted with social anxiety and living in general?

Many thanks.

Vincent.

 

[jellybean]

yep I have and I can quite honestly say meditation changed my life. I was in a very very lonely sad place after a period of excessive drug taking. I think the drugs kicked it off but was by no means the reason for my social anxiety, depression or anything else. I did a meditation course and it was the first time I got an insight into the nasty way I spoke to myself internally, I had never even considered it before!!! anyway I have gone back numerous times to recap but its very difficult to maintain a commitment to doing a daily meditation. I know though that it made a huge difference to me and made me a more compassionate and non violent person, I've always been a vegetarian but Ive never given up alcohol etc, I decided I personally didn't want to go down that route but well done for doing the course it's amazing

 

[Vincent]

jellybean, thanks for your reply. so you mean that you haven't quitted with the drinking (and drugs?) for me it seems a bit unrealistic. always being sober might make those around me uncomfortable if they are drinking and definately me less at ease. what about the other parts of five moral precepts? what about the third? abstaining from immoral sexual practice. I dont know what that means. i read somewhere, no adultary or prostitution, but beyond that? does it mean you should be definate about somewhat before getting together? how about teling the truth? if you always tell the truth, that could be hurtful to others, and put you at a disadvantage with employment and career? is it a matter of degree? for all the moral code? Im also a vegetarian, so the non killing is easy, but i dont know about mosquitos...roaches and spiders i dont kill.

do you believe in reincarnation and karma?

do you think that mediatation has more or less conquered SA for you? How would you rate your SA post Vipassana compared to before...
as in 50% for example...

i hope that I can manage the daily meditation. on the course, the guru recommended an hour morning and night, but that seems too much. i see that there are Vipassana centers all around the world but mostly Asia. The one I went to in New Zealand was very well set up.

Thanks for your insight.

 

[sidney]

im trying meditation at the mo but im finding it hard to actually reach that complete state of calmness so, so far ive not seen much benefit from it, how have you use just meditation to improve your SP???

 

[Vincent]

Sidney,

when i was at the course, I made the connection with the meditation and other stuff Id read about curing SA. Most specifically,...the Social Anxiety Institute. I bought the SAI program and couldn't follow it through, it was too tedious and not clear enough. One of the central themes is to overcome automatic negative thoughts,..or ANTs as they were called. But he (Dr Richards) didnt say what was negative, and didn't really give a method for doing so. In addition, I didn't know what to think, if not negative thoughts, you know, there was a vacuum left and I didnt know what to do wiht it.

Meditation is alot more clear in how to train your mind.

With the meditation, it is really hard, and it will take time to get your mind going and results happening. It really comes down to time multiplied by effort. It will be harder for some than others. As Jellybean said, he had been talking to himself negatively for a very long time. I had too, and probably yourself. I was unconscious of this negative way of thinking. This is ignorance. Alot of my thinking, as is with others is craving or aversion. But in the case of SA, I think mostly aversion.

As your mind is largely a product of your past thinking patterns, it will take time to change the automatic pattern of negativity. One key thing here is that when you are meditating, and you realize that your mind has been not focused on your breathing or bodily sensations for a time, you should not get frustrated, or berate yourself. All this does it create more negativity, and affects your ability to focus now and later.

What the meditation does, is give you the ability to control your mind better. It also doesn't make you as connected with your emotions. In a social situation, your mind goes into a panic, you physically respond with light headedness, sweating, shaking, flushing, your cognitive and memory slow down as you are in a fight or flight response. So you respond with fear, anxiety. But practice in meditation allows you to just observe the way your mind and body are reacting, and instead of your mind going down a path of a whole lot of negative / anxious thoughts, you are aware, and so, don't increase your anxiety in this way.

In time, you will build up neutral social experiences, and then after that, positive. In time your anxiety will diminish, but probably not ever completely go. This is because everyone has social anxiety to some extent, and having it is a way to regulate your actions and be sensitive to others. The trouble with SA is that the sensitivity is directed inwards as self consciousness.

But continue with the meditation. I recommend going on a course. Meditation is central to Buddhism, but open to all denominations, regardless of creed.

Keep practicing meditation, preferably on a daily basis.

I think it will work.

Ive had a lapse since xmas. Lost discipline, started drinking as to cope with the social situations. I abonished myself a bit, but then recognized that most of my family were drinking around Xmas. Getting back into the meditation post NYs. Then with that discipline, add to diet and intoxicants. This will be a year of meditation, and hopefully, greater social confidence than ever before.

 

[Princess]

meditation rocks

hello Vincent,

I have just begun to get interested in buddism and meditation for the same reasons, i find it puts my mind at ease (since it's always racing)
I'd love to chat more about it with you and gain some perspective.
I am just reading the dalai lamas book opening your heart to compassion, which tells you how to meditate.

good luck on your journey

 

[Empty]

im finding it hard to actually reach that complete state of calmness so, so far ive not seen much benefit from it

Because as some say, meditation is useless!

 

[Doomed2Die]

When I try I just seem to fall into it rarely, even then not long at all. I'll rather reason with things to the point I am confident and relaxed, other than letting the thoughts go in the meditation fashion. I suppose sleep does what mediation does for anyone. Hey, maybe Im just rambling and know nothing of it really.

Buddhism kinda is in the same vein of my line of thought but from my experience of it it is missing the 'something' that I have come to know so I have not looked into it more and most likely will not in a long time if ever. I may learn more about it, but probally will not explore its teaching.