blushing problem

[Leena]

For the past few years anything and everything can make me blush and it is so irritating. i have tried deep breathing but once the nervousness comes there is no stopping it. nothing seems to help. :?

Nowdays i try to get out of the spotlight incase the blushing happens again and it is really interferring with my daily life. at uni i dont speak out in class and when i do sometimes its fine but other times its terrible. and it doesnt help when some points it out. does anyone know an effective method to stop it. its gotten to the point that sometimes it happens around certain guys and they get the wrong message that because of that i have a crush on them 8O so as everyone can see i definitely need a solution hehe

 

[anxietyat21]

Hi. I don't have a method to help with the problem, I just wanted to say that I too suffer from this and also getting a blotchy neck and chest and its very frustrating. I feel that at times my redness begins because I start to think about it so I've been trying not to worry, but its not really helping. I have also tried deep breathing and it doesn't do a thing. I hope someone knows something to do that can help us and others.

 

[pitkreet]

I think you need to stop focusing on the problem. Easier said than done of course, but as a first step, after you've had a blushing episode, when you get home that night and are about to start worrying about what happened, don't!! Force yourself to think about something else. Go and do something else. Physically force the thoughts about blushing out of your head. At first, they'll keep popping back in, so jsut deliberately make the effort to focus on something else, recite a song, watch tv and listen to what's being said, anything to stop worrying about the day's blushing.

The less you think about it, the less you feed it.

When you next feeling yourself blush in front of people, try to focus on what is happening around you. If you are blushing because you are speaking in front of people, try extra hard to focus on the topic of conversation. You might still be automatically blushing, but do your best to not think about it and keep forcing your mind to focus on other things.

It's not gonna be an instant cure, but focusing on your problems just makes it grow. Force yourself to think about other things. At the end of the day, it's how you are thinking that is the real problem, so the more you practise at controlling your thought by deliberately refocusing away from blushing, the better you will become at it.

 

[Leena]

I actually think that you r spot on Pitkreet about the focusing on the negatives. I do that a lot when i recall all those embarrasing moments from the day and then think that I probably looked stupid. But Ill try ur method of blocking those thoughts...and see how it goes...fingers crossed that it works :lol:

I think that I controlled it well today actually when this chick almost accused me of cheating on a uni quiz (which i didnt) and everyone looked back, but she said it was the girl next to me not me...phew !!! now that would be great (not)...just what i need...being expelled from uni !!!

anyway thanx for the advice and good luck to others trying this method

 

[SP]

Hi, i am new here, and i love this site! I have Social Phobia and i too blush like a maniac sometimes <---- yes like that haha. It started in 12 th grade and i haven't stopped it since. I am 21/m. I had to quit my job as a bag boy at the grocery store because of my SP. It was a living hell having to stand in front of the stor to bag groceries with everyone in lien staring at me. Then POP my face grows red then i wished i could hide forever. So i quit.. it sucked.... I have good days and bad days. I try hard to control my blushing, but i just cant sometimes. My biggest fear is going to the haircut, and having to LOOK at my face to redder by the second. It turns red without a reason! But having read other peoples stories, i feel so much better. There are people out there like me. My sister actually has the same problem. Both of us just turn red. And standing in line at a place liek Target and having to talk to the cashier can make me go red too. Although i've been doing good lately.... but i embarrass so easily, and i fear the time when i get embarassed in a public place. One time at the grocery store, this man was in line with his kids, and he was trying to embarrass them by saying sexual things, then he truned to me and tried to embarrass me, and suprisingly, it didn't work! That week, i was strong and i felt normal. I just couldn't continue.... i have my good days, i just wish my bad days would stay gone. I think whenever i am INSIDE i can go red at any second, but when i am outside, i feel confident and know that it'll take more to make me go red. I could write more but i guess i'll stop haha.

 

[fallenfeather]

Hey I hear what you're saying about it being easier to cope with when you're outside. I get this too, and I've figured out that the cooler I am (temperature wise) the more it takes for me to go red and the easier it is to control. So, at work meetings I wear cool clothes, like t-shirts and make sure I have some cold water with me to sip and keep cooler. It helps but doesn't make it go away, just makes it easier to control.

I hate having a blushing problem, it's a real curse. Luckiky I've managed to get so much better than I used to be. Building up self confidence really makes a difference.

 

[SP]

Hey fallenfeather! I totally agree with you that body temperature plays a role. When the wind is hitting me or when i'm just cold in general, i wont go red as much or at all. But like.... say in Biology, where i swear that class is so warm, i can turn red in a heartbeat. Like walking into class late and everyone lookign at me open the door (of course my table is at the opposite side of the room). But yeah... i try to wear cool clothing too and keep ice water with me in my backpack. Sipping something cool does help me remain calm.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

yeah, body temp helps, forcing yourself to relax. i've found what helps me is when i feel it coming on i just take deep breaths and try to look at myself on the outside, and saying to myself "this is what i fear, all the time, is this worth my worry?" and i try to just let it go. in my mind. if i get embarrassed i won't let myself go over it in my head.

it takes alot of practice, i'm in college now and i've had alot of success too. there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

[JJenny]

I think it's really good we are talking about blushing. It was only a little while ago I had the nerve to even google the word 'blushing' I was in such control and fear from it, and heaven forbid going to a library or bookstore to get a book out on the topic would have killed me! lol. I don't know if any of you have ever seen that site called Post Secret where people write in secrets on postcards they make themselves, things they've not told others. I don't think I've seen a blushers confession, and even on the boards here, it's kind of a slow topic and it's so strong a reaction avoiding it at all costs was the way I used to be. Maybe the more we talk openly about it, the less power over us it'll have, it won't be so secretive and lonely for us. I used to blush just thinking of the word "blush" and to discuss it with anyone would have been a nightmare cos the actual action of blushing would happen but that doesn't bother me now, I'm comfortable talking about it now. It is so great to share something with you all, life doesn't seem so lonely does it, and I know we all want to get better.
Love to us all

 

[Chilling__Echo]

yeah, i feel completely confident talking about myself online but just typing blushing or turning red or flustering makes me squirm. reading it under the symptoms, hearing people saying the word makes my skin crawl.

i love post secret!

 

[redlady]

Holy Sh*t, even I blush! How I learned to beat it...I just don't give a crap anymore. It's not like I have a big chunk of snot hanging out of my nose or a horn in the middle of my head, is it (yes, I do normally have those too!). Really, why not just try saying who gives a F! Odddly enough when i started to think this way, my blushing really decreased, so it's like one of those back TV shows where time is circular and all. Go ahead and blush....who cares? And don't say..all those people who point out that I'm blushing........they might just be making an obseervation and not be evil.

I like your attitude - and the next time i get all embarrassed i am going to say just that "...who gives a F[UCK]! and just get over myself.....for F*$K"S SAKE!!!!! and do it.

 

[SP]

yea thats a great attitude!! i'll try that from now on. =)

 

[Faith]

I know how you feel Leena, I'm like that especially when I'm approached at work by "authority figures." They do notice it which makes me blush even moreso. I find it embarrassing.

 

[english-ice]

last night I went to my first SA support group meeting and there was a group of 10-15 people there.

Now my SA is that I blush If I never went red, I feel as if I wouldn't have any social phobia in my life.To be honest its only been the last 2 or 3 months that I've really started to look up SA and ways of how to overcome it and last night helped.

I was calm and ready last night to speak in public and did so with out going red once I agree with mcshy and your comments with not caring,I know that this could and will be hard to do but I feel this is one of the only ways that we can overcome our blushing problem.

I see my SA as a bad habit that I've picked up and one I need to re-programme myself to overcome-by facing my fear and not hiding from it.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

great job english-ice, i wish i had a support group to go to... i want to be able to share my story as well as to help others. i've never met someone SA that i knew of in public and it's so easy to forget that we're not alone

 

[Tanya_S]

its gotten to the point that sometimes it happens around certain guys and they get the wrong message that because of that i have a crush on them

omg! that happens to me to0. its so annoying!

 

[paininspain]

I've spent the last few days reading people's experiences with blushing and I can't believe how similar their problems are to mine. I have had this condition for 13 years, I don't know how it started I keep thinking it was caused by a one off 'hash cake' experience probably laced with something stronger, which really freaked me out and I remember seeing all these things going through my mind. The psychologist who I saw years later didn't think this was the reason behind it and said it was a more common thing than I thought, which looking at all the postings I believe now.
After it started I went travelling around the world, and the blushing went with me. The thought of meeting people didn't worry me, I thought that 'going red' was just a phase I was going through and taking time off to travel would relax me. But alas, it is still with me after all this time.
I'm tall as well and people say really good looking (probably when I'm not blushing) so I feel people look at me more than normal which only elevates the fear of blushing. To cut a long story short I left the UK and moved to Spain where I married a local girl, the sun certainly helps disguise the blushing, but I don't want to die of skin cancer either ! I told my wife about it as she never mentioned it the first couple of years, she honestly said she hadn't noticed !
I know people who I worked with noticed but never said anything, maybe as many postings say they just forget about it and are too busy worrying about themselves. It doesn't make it any easier though and now my marriage has ended in seperation as my wife thought I was not socialable enough (among other things). I have not learnt Spanish either as when I was in the class I would just go red when I was in the spotlight. This makes life difficult living here, it's not that I don't want to learn, the blushing is stopping me. I'm lucky my job does not require it although people wonder why I don't want to learn.

I think the only way I can overcome it, is to have the 'don't give a s***' attitude and if I blush just let it happen as when you feel yourself going red you forget about the situation your in which highlights the problem even more.
I'm certainly not having surgery, not after what I've read these last few days.

Just wanted to write something after all this time and hope all of you don't get too down, just try and be positive and don't let it worry you. Or move to a sunny country.....

 

[LemonKiss]

Now my SA is that I blush If I never went red, I feel as if I wouldn't have any social phobia in my life.To be honest its only been the last 2 or 3 months that I've really started to look up SA and ways of how to overcome it and last night helped.

Me too! I can't believe there are actually people out there that suffer the same things that I do. I have thought I was alone for my entire life. Just a freak shy girl in a small town.

 

[english-ice]

Many people have a fear of blushing, but I can understand why people that don't have this problem may not understand.

I went to my GP at the start of this year to talk about my Facial Blushing and what options if any my Doctor could offer me in my bid to overcome it. - All I got told was to just stop being stupid because everyone blushes at some point and there wasn't anything they could do. (I didn't expect anything, I just wanted to double check anyway.) I wasn't angry with this answer as if you haven't lived with the fear of blushing then you wouldn't understand how big a problem it is for us.

If we're not careful then this fear of blushing will take our lives away. I'm turning 25 in november (Hardly old) but I now realise that I've not moved forward in some areas of my life in six years and I have to put this down to my fear of blushing. You can get caught up in a cycle that stops you from living your life to the max and thats all I want to do,be the best that I can be.

 

[karmen]

i blush too i find that doing some physical activity works to calm me also the more i put myself in embarresing situations the more i just get used to it and accept it