Blaming the Folks

[Diend]

I like to think that my parents are to blame for my anxiety. I want to think that I can change the way my parents behave, but I'm beginning to realize that these old fogies can't be changed. my mom always complains to me about my dad's childish, moody behavior. but I've begun to be brave enough to realize I shouldn't rely on their behavior to change and just ignore it.

 

[arjuna]

Sometimes it's hard to not be influenced by the people around us. If they are too negative and you see it is affecting you, it is better to separate yourself from them. If you don't already live alone, it could be a great chance. It gives you perspective on life.

 

[Izzie]

I think it's a very positive step to realise you can't change them.

 

[arjuna]

I think it's a very positive step to realise you can't change them.

How do you know he can't change them?

 

[Izzie]

I don't but the idea of changing someone is not a task anyone should undertake. Learning to understand and accept people is a much more positive and strengthening thing to do for yourself. Trying to help someone to understand anothers point of view, feelings or circumstances is different but you can never change who they are. And even that can be futile - there has to be a point where you step back because it often does not work and it can then become destructive to yourself

 

[arjuna]

I don't but the idea of changing someone is not a task anyone should undertake. Learning to understand and accept people is a much more positive and strengthening thing to do for yourself. Trying to help someone to understand anothers point of view, feelings or circumstances is different but you can never change who they are. And even that can be futile - there has to be a point where you step back because it often does not work and it can then become destructive to yourself

I like the way you express yourself and I think there is truth to what you say. At the same time, you say "you can never change who they are;" I suppose you are suggesting that people have intrinsic traits that can't be changed. I don't really believe this.