BIGGEST Frustration/ Obstacle/Issues in getting over social anxiety ( No judging)

[firebolt123]

Hey all,

What are your biggest frustrations/obstacles/issues in getting over social anxiety (right now or in general). Mines is just getting started.

 

[kay08]

I would like to think the next day will be different, but then it turns out the same as the day before. I have trouble making eye contact or holding a conversation longer then 15 seconds. It's typical for me to fear rejection or embarrassment. It might stem from image issues I don't know. I feel like I get looked at a lot. This is why it's hard to leave my comfort zone and I'm trying to leave it.

 

[firebolt123]

wow kay, thanks for the honesty. i feel a bit self conscious of myself as well, especially when i walk into a place filled with lots of people. i feel like everyone's watching me and just massive pressure in my breathe and chest.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I often feel as if I'm trapped inside of my negative thoughts. I usually have thoughts such as "You're going to be this way for the rest of your life", "No one truly likes you", "You're worthless and a burden", etc. Even after I've experienced a situation that could be considered a step towards conquering my anxiety, my mind will still tell me that I could have done something better and more productive in that situation, which I guess could be looked at as my mind acting as a driving force for me to keep improving, but mostly it makes me feel disappointed that I didn't do enough. A large part of my issues with getting over my anxiety boils down to me being very hard on myself, and hardly being able to feel proud if I do make a step in the right direction.

 

[Graeme1988]

A lack of understanding and support from family about social anxiety

My lack of self-confidence. I feel very self-conscious about myself when in social situations. I rarely speak up when somethin' bothers me. Not great at take the initiative.

The negative thoughts and nervousness that occurs when I'm forced into a social settings just out of the blue.

My inability to maintain eye-contact or conversation.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I personally have made some great steps in dealing with my SA and AvPD.
But I accept I'll probably never be 100% free of it.

Exposure therapy is my biggest stumbling block. My therapist has recommended giving social outings a go. 'Take the opportunity when it next presents itself, see how you go' he suggests.
The problem for me with this is, I live in a smallish town (around 17-20k people). The social activities of a lot of Aussie towns like this revolve around playing sports, then socializing by drinking.

I dont drink.
While I like sports, I'm not really into playing them much these days.
I could think of nothing worse than standing around for hours, drink in hand, talking about johns brothers fathers sisters uncles nephew that went fishing last month. That sort of talk bores me to tears.

It's hard for me to 'pretend' to be interested. I have nothing against those people who enjoy doing that, if that's what they like doing, more power to them.

I recently joined a social group online, and once every week or two they meet up for a movie, a bite to eat and a chat.

The thing is, this is a group specifically for people with SA. So at least I'll be meeting people with similar feelings and problems. They will have an understanding of how difficult things can be.
While it's more than 200 klm's away and I'll only be able to attend once a month or so, at least I may be able to meet some new people who wont judge me.
I'm actually looking forward to it.

My therapist (who I'm very fortunate to have found, he's very good) once said to me, 'not everything we try or do will work. Some things you will get more out of. But if you try ten things over the next year, and you get a 5 - 10% improvement, would you take that?'.

Yes was my answer.

 

[emptybench]

Every time I wanted to ask a question and was too shy for it, making my life much harder. Also being too afraid of saying the first 'hi' to people and not getting an answer etc., thus making myself seem rude. And behaving very weirdly around a guy I'm interested in. Obsessing about what people thought regarding what I said.

 

[firebolt123]

wow guys . this all hits deep. you guys are all awesome for being honest. i also feel really negative even when i try to make some small steps towards a better future (making taking initiative even harder) and eye contact is a lot harder than it seems ( i don't want to creep them out).AND when i am around girls i like i lose all air in my lungs and i would have to repeat what i said at least 3 times. and pugofcrydee, thats what makes it difficult for me to find QUALITY friends.