Big Changes

[Jamminhitman]

Hi all,

I've been struggling a little lately. I recently graduated from college and moved away from home for a job. I feel so incredibly blessed to have a job. However, the transition has been much harder than I anticipated. Part of me feels like everything after college is all downhill, nothing comparing to the goods times experienced in college. I also have started obsessing about death, thinking about it daily. I've come to realize just how fragile life is and how quickly one can die. I think about it on the way to work, while I'm at work, and before I go to sleep. I even had a dream about dying in a plane crash. I also obsess about my parents dying and not being able to talk to them or see them again. I guess I'm just scared because life after death is an unknown and I'm used to being able to obtain clear-cut, definitive answers. I also hate it because part of death is completely out of your hands. You could be the best driver in the world but still get hit by a crazed driver and die. I like control and get incredibly anxious when I'm without it. 3 months ago I went off zoloft for the second time ever. This has been my longest stint off the medication since starting on it in 6th grade. I'm just curious if anyone has had the same thoughts/feelings as I have and could offer any advice.

 

[lonely_drummer]

death can be scary. but once you can realize that it really is just finite, you can try and move on and maybe begin to see that it is important to do the things that make you happy during your life, cuz who knows what'll happen tomorrow. A near death experience can open your eyes to it, it sure did for me. So all I can say, and who knows how much it can help, but if you're feeling this its all downhill feeling, then maybe its time for a change.

 

[findingbeauty]

My thought is that you are still having withdrawals, and even after the chemical withdrawals are over, the psychological dependency can take much longer to get over. I know that without medication I tend to feel much more vulnerable in every way imaginable. If you've been on meds that long, you can expect it to take some time and conscious effort to get over them if it's possible at all - you may very well need meds. If you want to keep trying and stay off, I would highly suggest trying a meditation practice - read up and be prepared first, it can bring up a lot at first and probably best to start small, but if anything can ground you without medication, it would be meditation (mindfulness based). You could also try prayer and journalling to work through your curiosity about death.

Congrats on the new job and move!

 

[findingbeauty]

Oh, another thought, especially when coming off meds - take a good multi-vitamin, b-complex and fish oil - these are excellent for balancing brain chemistry, but not crappy synthetics you find at the store. Go to a good health food store and get a whole food type, something as naturally, and purely processed as possible - you'll know because you won't see a bunch of crappy fillers in there that are bad for you in and of themselves! Good luck!