Being percieved as nice

[silentkilla187]

I dont want to have my first post come off as being angry but this one particular thing bothers me. Im shy initially and I always have people assuming that Im a really nice guy when they dont even know me. The truth is Im actually a very angry person but people think that Im so nice because i come across as polite. Does anybody else experience people making judgements about your character without them even knowing you?

 

[**removed**]

All the time. I don't think anyone really knows the 'real me'.

 

[nocklmnop]

I dont want to have my first post come off as being angry but this one particular thing bothers me. Im shy initially and I always have people assuming that Im a really nice guy when they dont even know me. The truth is Im actually a very angry person but people think that Im so nice because i come across as polite. Does anybody else experience people making judgements about your character without them even knowing you?

I'm in almost the exact same situation. Not that it bothers me; I'm used to it.

 

[haze]

yes that happens with me but i think thats a good thing.

 

[Moonie]

Yes, I think alot of people percieve me as nice because of my shyness. But on the other end of the spectrum, some people consider me snobby because of my shyness. It can go either way!

I really think that I am nice, though. I don't hate anyone and am willing to give anyone a chance. I am not shallow and I don't talk about or make fun of people like some others do.

Though, I think that those who know me well see me as bitter, maybe moody, maybe bitchy. I don't know.

But, I will always remember this one incident in school where I let someone look at my notes or something along that line, and she said "Thanks, you are so nice." And then her friend said something like, "How is she nice? She doesn't talk." So.. I guess people will have theuir different viewpoints.

It doesn't really bother me either way. The one good thing about a shy person is that there is some mystery to them (I have had a teacher and a friend's grandfather say that to me and it truly was a neat comment.) Some people will want to solve the mystery and some people have no interest in it.

 

[BornAgain]

It doesn't really bother me either way. The one good thing about a shy person is that there is some mystery to them (I have had a teacher and a friend's grandfather say that to me and it truly was a neat comment.) Some people will want to solve the mystery and some people have no interest in it.

Damn, you said it all right there. I didn't think anyone else looked at shy people that way, that they are somewhat mysterious and that some want to solve it, and others don't care much. I'd rather be a mystery then a boring non-fiction common sheep. My Dad told me once that there is some sort of supernatural phenomena about me.

 

[alabanzai]

i think it's the opposite situation for me, because i try to be nice and i think of myself as generally a pretty nice person. people think i'm aloof because i don't talk or smile very much. when i was a kid i did get that sort of reaction from my classmates, but maybe it's less acceptable for "adults" to be shy. (i'm 19)

 

[BornAgain]

i think it's the opposite situation for me, because i try to be nice and i think of myself as generally a pretty nice person. people think i'm aloof because i don't talk or smile very much. when i was a kid i did get that sort of reaction from my classmates, but maybe it's less acceptable for "adults" to be shy. (i'm 19)

What sort of reaction did you get when you were a kid, I think I missed the point of that one. It is way less acceptable for adults to be shy, you are right. For some reason, being social is a sign of maturity, but if you look at little kids, they are some of the most social beings alive! Not all of them, but still most. They will go say hi to some other little kid they've never seen and instantly become best friends with him/her! As for young adults, teens, and adults, this changes big time. People don't even look at each other when they walk by each other in public, they just look somber and put their head down, which creates an awkward moment. Again, not all people do that, but most do some of the time. As for myself, I see no point in smiling and talking all the time when the most socially acceptable thing to converse about is sports (I fucking hate watching sports) and the news, which is by the way controlled by government and corporations with special interests.

 

[alabanzai]

i meant that my classmates thought of me as nice because i was quiet.

and the news, which is by the way controlled by government and corporations with special interests.

i jumped when i saw that. i am from the bay area too, lol.

 

[Kinetik]

I get this a lot. I wouldn't mind if I really was so great, but the truth is I'm very difficult, picky with people, judgemental, elitist, and kind of a prick at times.

 

[trobsaz]

It goes either way, but I personally would prefer to have people perceive me as nice and be wrong, rather than wrongfully think I'm a snob.

People never really make comments about my shyness, at least not to me. Most of the people I know at school though, aren't very judgemental at all and they pretty much just assume you're nice unless they're proven otherwise.

 

[Cedeejay]

in my case, I was for a very longtime perceived as wrong, that's how extroverted people with SA look I guess:S because I would joke around and be funny with people I knew and trusted but sometimes, and more with girls, I would almost turn my back to them, not because I didn't wanted to talk to them but fuck that's what SA is lmao. People won't understand this and it's normal. For comprehension they would have to live it themselves! But hell when you have those moments of peace, those moments when anxiety go away, it shows and then people around are like wtf you've changed man!! I used to care about this a lot, and could still do at times. Wathever, I think the biggest present an SA person could have is Not giving a fuck anymore

 

[Clog]

A lot of people class emas 'nice' because I'm shy, although I have no problem with that, as I do tend to try and be as friendly as possible to people.

However I think a lot of people think I'm too up myself to talk to them or get involved with things as opposed to being shy. I 've noticed a shift between high school and 6th form. It is far less acceptable to be quiet in 6th form, particularly with the smaller classes. Teachers are always trying to get me to speak more.