being in a crowd vs one on one

sorrow1

Well-known member
Have you ever noticed all people seem to act differently in a group. People who bully others or come across as cocky and the centre of attention when surrounded by their mates always seem totally different when you speak to them on their own and sometimes you can consider them not so bad people and hate yourself for sometimes liking them. Are they putting on a show?

What is it with being in a group that makes people act so different.
Whenever I am in a group I sometimes get the mickey taken out of me I am less confident in groups even now and tend to take a step back letting others take the lead and I come across as the quiet one, It doesn't bother me like It used to but I sometimes feel I never get any respect and sometimes I like to question why!.

My friends and work collegues take the time out to hang out with me one on one and people always consider me a friend and say they like hanging out with me. They like to unload all their problems onto me and like to bitch about the other people they hate. I always have things to say back and am never quiet one on one.

But when it comes to work parties or social gatherings they would rather laugh and joke with the people they supposedly hate than me. I get ignored and the people who are meant to be my friends will talk over me or make a joke at my expense to appease the people they told me the day before they detest. I know they love me and they like me but sometimes I feel they don't respect me and that can hurt sometimes too.

But how can I complain at them that sometimes I feel they are not the same person because when we go out and when we meet other people I am not the same person I usually am. I am not normally so quiet and uninteresting when I go out one on one with someone so why am I so different in a group

Maybe we are all insecure and some people are better at hiding it than others. When the pressures too great I actually physically cannot speak or come up with anything witty or interesting to say a problem that I have suffered to extremes in the past it was a real physical restriction. but Ive heard some people as a defence mechanism over compensate their insecurities and act like complete idiots because they are scared of showing their true selves.

I don't really know where I am going with this but it seems that everyone these days is too afraid to be who they are. Social media portrays a lifestyle that everyone believes is the "perfect life" and people get depressed and commit suicide because in their minds they are too fat or ugly or not special enough etc etc... and it just makes me question the why of it all. Why does what other people are doing with their lives matter so much to us and why are we so afraid to do things we want to do and be the people we want to be for fear of others judging us, it just seems ludicrous!!!!
 

sorrow1

Well-known member
I just realised after typing this someone else brought up the whole face to face vs group thing in a previous thread but I just needed to vent lol!
 
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