Being denyed benzos in treatment?

[whysitmatter]

I finally weened myself down from smack and morphine and am close to being off the hooch(Down to a 40oz or two a day). But I'm checking into a rehab facility that does dual diagnosis(Mental and drug problems), and I talked to a lady there for a bit, and in order to enter, I have to completely detox from my xanax(something I NEVER abused), in a local hospital of course, and attend group meetings with 60+ people at a time, everyday for 60 to 90 days in my situation.

I can see there P.O.V. about me being completely off of everything, but cant imagine desensitization right after getting off Xanax. Anyone been there before with agoraphobia?

I told her, without my xanax or some kind of benzo, I'd be back where I was before I was prescribed xanax, in the corner of a room. She told me that if I didnt attend the daily group therapy meetings, I'd be kicked out right away for noncompliance...

She said they're even iffy on letting people have anti-deppresants, and I hate anti-depressants, all they do is literally make me ill, or have no effect on me, I think the only one I havent tried is Lexapro.

I dont know what to do here. If I start this at all(I still have a few weeks 'till I'm in), I loose my xanax. I know my doctor, he knows my family history, they'd be gone for good in a heartbeat, especially if I discontinued treatment.

I just want to make sure I can get off the hooch for good and not relapse(it's happened before), and make my agoraphobia more managable.

Any advice? Other than strap yourself in and hold on tight and to let the desensitization do it's work.

 

[SilentType]

Start weaning off bro. How many mgs of xanax are you taking daily now?

 

[Fairy001]

Go for it, you are stronger than you think. I have been through benzo withdrawel, it isn't nice. But go for it, I send you all my strength and good wishes.

Peace

 

[whysitmatter]

I'm still prescribed 5mg throughout the day, I've been taking 4.5 to 4 on days where I dont have to do jack,even though for an unemployed, agoraphobic, alcoholic that's everyday that ends in Y. heh
And I can skip full dosages when I take 10mg Valiums, and even last an extra 2 to 3 hours on dosing time, although doing that all the time would just be switching benzo's.

Ativan's take off the edge and do a little less for me than my xanax,even taking 2mg at a time, and Klonipins, I dunno, they give me a positive(non-tweaked out) energy, I took 13mg in a two and a half hour span(6,6 then 1), and uhh...fully cleaned and rearranged my room...(very outta charecter for me). That'd knock anyone I know out for a while.

I should probably take less and do more activities, start to ween and desensitize before going into the hospital, but everytime I've had to jump through another hoop(going from different place to place) in the exceedingly long process of getting help, and I open the door and look at my backyard, it looks a million times bigger. I still havent gotten to one of those places(that sends me to another place to get a step outta the way) Without drinking more than I normally do, Or drinking an extra 40oz or two and taking some Valium.

I guess I'll just have to learn to Walk Hard.heh
You dont want no part of this S*** Dewey!,they're Benzodiazepines, they make all your panicky feelings turn into feelings of normality, numbness or happiness.